VS
Author Victoria Sawyer
Bring Me To Life
New novel coming soon!
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Sexy Canning = Botulism
Mr. VS and I were quite domesticated (like badly behaved pets) this fall and we tried some canning from the bounty of the land, i.e. our garden. BTW…we totally have a farm or something minus any animals except cats – cat farm? Our farm has no name currently but it could be called Poison Ivy…
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Forget the Lifetime Failure Tally: Look Ahead
I’ve now officially (you heard it here) been informed, through an article online that I cannot find again (did it really exist??) that I should be looking toward the future and not at the past. Mr. VS also recently told me that millionaires and highly successful people refuse to see failure and instead are always…
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My Body is a Polluted Bombed Out Wasteland
So as you might know, I’ve been on meds (Zoloft for anxiety/panic attacks) for about a year and a half. Prior to this med-circus I’m partaking in now, I had been off meds for 3.5 years. And before that I was on them for about 8 years and prior to that I was medication free…
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Broken, The Internet Is
So there are some people out there that think they are going to break the internet with their ass. These ‘people’ shall remain nameless since I can’t stand to toot their horn more than it has already been tooted by everyone else on the planet. However, I do have a few things to say on…
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A Case of “the Uglies” with Mincing and Ogling
Yesterday I had a mean case of the uglies. It’s sort of like the “mondays” but it’s the uglies instead. I don’t mean, I was ugly, as in I was horrible to be around or my mood was hideous or anything like that. What I mean is that I felt…hideous, physically. Yes, yesterday I was…
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I’m Not Medicated
I stopped taking my anxiety meds and Birth control (obvi) for procreation reasons because I wanted my body to be less of a bombed out medicinal wasteland for you know…a possible pregnancy. I’m not actually happy about being off meds this time as I am realizing the drastic difference between medication and the lack there of.…
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Aliens: Not as Scary
When I was a kid I was terrified of aliens. In the fifth grade our teacher showed us all these films about people seeing flying saucers and being abducted (and probed *shudder*) by big headed aliens in remote mountainous regions. (Why 5th grade teacher, WHY?!??) So, it figures that I was terrified I was gonna…
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Germ-O-Phobe
I’m a certified Germ-o-phobe and I will proclaim and admit all you like. What I’ve realized recently about being a Germ-o is that it’s not really about the germs at all, it’s about my brain. I have to be a Germ-o to satisfy my brain, to basically convince my brain to keep quiet and stay…
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The Mirror Versus The Mind
This little quote is from my novel and I think it’s something I often think while looking in the mirror. I’m not sure about you but sometimes it feels like I am not my body. I am not the person I see in the mirror. And my mind doesn’t conform to whatever image I present…
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Art and Self Criticism
Just a FYI that Angst is featured over at the Book Maven today. She was kind enough to read my novel and do a review. Check out her page here to see what she thought… When I first started writing Angst, I had a certain book cover in mind. It was a piece of artwork,…
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Be “Real” With Me
I was nominated for the Reality Blogger award by Time to Write. It’s sweet to be nominated (Seriously Thank you!), and although I’m not a very good team player, I’m gonna be a good sport and answer some fun questions! If you could change something, what would you change? I would change my day job. …
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My Mind: My Prison, My Freedom
I want to escape. Get away. The truth is, in my mind I am free. FREEEEEEE. No one can control what I think. No one can stop me from swearing a blue streak in my mind. No one can stop me from bashing all the people who piss me off inside my head. No one…
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This Season of USA is Lit!
These writers on this season of the USA are doing a bang up job keeping us on the edge of our seats! Let’s just hope they’re not like the writers for LOST! Buckle up for some existential rambling DREAD below! (Don’t worry, it’s…
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The Happy Forgotten Place Where Plastic Lives: The Landfill
Remember that place the so-called Landfill? I know you’re like…”What? No? What place? I don’t recall anything like that.” (All said while avoiding eye contact). Well, I’m here to point your attention in the direction of your local landfill, filled not with LAND…
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This is Why We’re All Overweight
I’ve done a little thinking on the topic and I’ve come up with several reason why we’re all overweight and continue to gain the old lbs. The equation looks something like this: unhappiness + depression + meaninglessness + boredom + our modern culture…
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Black Friday Crusades
Hello All on this lovely Black Friday! I’m here to tell you why Black Friday is the WORST invention EVER!! I feel a little rant coming on. I think it’s pretty funny that we’ve got this holiday where we’re supposed to be loving each other, spending time with family, giving and being thankful and then…
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Nature’s Fail: Exercise
I’m really intent on blaming someone (even if it’s not actually a person) for my problems. My latest conjecture is that it’s nature’s fault that I don’t exercise and I’m going to prove to you (as if I’m writing a geometry proof) that nature is in fact to blame for the fact that I’m lazy…
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I Solved Climate Change and Silenced the Alien Laughter
Yup, you heard it here first, I have, with my puny little brain, solved Climate Change in one fell swoop (what does that mean?). I’m for serious right now (I love saying that). For realz. It’s essentially pretty simple and is called: Working from Home. If I asked it as a question and you said…
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How To Second-Hand Shop Like a Boss
I’m a big second-hand shopper. I love it. It’s like Raiders of the Lost Ark to me. Well…I guess…Raiders of the Lost Closet where you can find one of a kind things without spiders all over your back or huge boulders attempting to crush you. Plus you’ll pay cheap money for cute things and ALSO it’s…
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Satan’s Girlfriend…at the Office
Happy Friday Denizens of Interwebs City! I greet you from Funny Blog Friday’s (#FBF) first ever Blog Hop Party! WHOOP!! We’ve got so much fun stuff for you today including some excellent funny blogs to read while you should be doing other things AND some excellent giveaways to enter and win. Are you jumping excitedly…
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Funny Bloggers Wanted! #FBF
FUNNY BLOGGERS: WE WANT YOU!!! Are you a funny blogger? Do you know a funny blogger? Do you read someone who’s hilarious, sarcastic, inventive, crazy or inspired in their madness? Send them our way!! Or if you’ve self-declared, We want YOU! SEND OUT THE WORRRDDDD!! A few of us bloggers (who have deemed each other…
Angst Anarchy 