VS

Author Victoria Sawyer

Bring Me To Life

New novel coming soon!

  • Sexy Canning = Botulism

    Sexy Canning = Botulism

    Mr. VS and I were quite domesticated (like badly behaved pets) this fall and we tried some canning from the bounty of the land, i.e. our garden. BTW…we totally have a farm or something minus any animals except cats – cat farm? Our farm has no name currently but it could be called Poison Ivy…

  • Forget the Lifetime Failure Tally: Look Ahead

    Forget the Lifetime Failure Tally: Look Ahead

    I’ve now officially (you heard it here) been informed, through an article online that I cannot find again (did it really exist??) that I should be looking toward the future and not at the past. Mr. VS also recently told me that millionaires and highly successful people refuse to see failure and instead are always…

  • My Body is a Polluted Bombed Out Wasteland

    My Body is a Polluted Bombed Out Wasteland

    So as you might know, I’ve been on meds (Zoloft for anxiety/panic attacks) for about a year and a half.  Prior to this  med-circus I’m partaking in now, I had been off meds for 3.5 years.  And before that I was on them for about 8 years and prior to that I was medication free…

  • Broken, The Internet Is

    Broken, The Internet Is

    So there are some people out there that think they are going to break the internet with their ass. These ‘people’ shall remain nameless since I can’t stand to toot their horn more than it has already been tooted by everyone else on the planet. However, I do have a few things to say on…

  • A Case of “the Uglies” with Mincing and Ogling

    A Case of “the Uglies” with Mincing and Ogling

    Yesterday I had a mean case of the uglies.  It’s sort of like the “mondays” but it’s the uglies instead.  I don’t mean, I was ugly, as in I was horrible to be around or my mood was hideous or anything like that.  What I mean is that I felt…hideous, physically.  Yes,  yesterday I was…

  • Bring Me To Life – New Fiction in the works!

    Bring Me To Life – New Fiction in the works!

    After more than 13 years I’ve started writing again and I picked up a story I started back in 2010. It’s a gritty, dark, sexy modern fairytale – a Sleeping Beauty reboot inspired by sex, drugs & rock n’ roll! Back in 2010 I was inspired by Evanescence’s song of the same name as well…

  • My Endometriosis Story

    My Endometriosis Story

    Having a chronic illness is cool. Having several is even better. It’s especially fun when you think one of them might be gone and then it REARS its ugly head yet again and brings you right back to square one, living Groundhog Day all over again. So let’s talk about my Endometriosis story, which I…

  • An Exercise in Writing

    My blog stats recently have been abysmal.  Less than abysmal.  Sad.  Sorry.  Tragic.  I realize that I’ve slacked terribly on promotion of any kind and my frenzy of last year has abated like the calm after a hurricane…. and so I am left with…crickets.  But you know what?  I decided to change my attitude about…

  • Much Biting Ensues; And Sibling Torture (Wolfenstein 3D Edition)

    So a friend sent me a link to this blog…. Hyperbole and a Half.  Allie is freaking awesome and hilarious.  I’ve been manically reading all of her posts over the last few days.  I’m like…stalking her…but not in a stalkerish-stalkery way.  I’m just like…reading the stuff she put out there on the FREE interwebs without…

  • If You’re So Smart, You Rig Up My Life!!

    I’ve been spending a bit of time thinking about submission.  Actually, wait, that’s the wrong word.  That sounds a bit too sexual for what I’m trying to get at…the right word is surrender.  Now get your mind out of the gutter and join me in the untouchable ether of thoughts, emotions, the ego and of…

  • Dammit Write a Blog Post!!

    “Dammit write a blog post for gawd’s sake!!!”  This is what I’ve been saying to myself for the past 2 weeks.  And I have stuff I could write about, but I’ve been refusing to write ANYTHING at all.  It’s the holidays afterall and I’ve been super ridic busy and yes, lazy as sin.  Santa should…

  • Lemme Hear You Bring the Hype

    So once in a while I get to write new-ish articles for work, as I am the “newsletter” guru.  Today I had to write an article and I thought…why write this all boring and professional?  Why not write it FUN and batshit insane, like I do the blog?  (Sometimes when I’m writing blog posts, they…

  • New Friends, Anxiety Relief, Creativity Fail and Inspiration Desperation

    Coherence be damned! This is gonna be a weird post.  I have so many random things going on in my head.  I feel like these are the most uninteresting posts to read where someone writes about several things…but unfortunately for you, I’ve got nothing else that’s inspiring me at the moment that would make a…

  • Something Stupid

    You know what’s stupid?  The fact that I have to drive to work every single day.  It’s goddamned ridiculous that every day, I drive 45 minutes to work and 45 minutes home.  EVERY DAY!!  The same damn commute, wasting the same amount of…

  • Failure the Musical!!!! STARRING MEEEE!!!

    AKA:  A Catalog of Woes: The Year in Review I know it’s not necessarily the time of year to be doing a year in review, but I have a need to see all my woes laid out in a humorous way for the…

  • You Big Gorgeous Sexy Unfathomable Universe You!

    The universe is dead sexy.  Did you know? I’ve been obsessed with it lately and have been learning a lot about the latest discoveries and theories.  So I’m going to walk you through the sexiness and vastness of space in this post.  And…

  • Your Viewing Pleasure – Guy on a Buffalo

    Your Viewing Pleasure – Guy on a Buffalo

    Your Viewing Pleasure is where I share my favorite YouTube vids.  This one is no exception. Apparently there’s this old movie about a guy riding on a buffalo and some genius decided to add a song track on top of the video.  What emerges is classic. One day…the guy on the buffalo was riding around…

  • Braggadocious! Introducing: The Blog Brag

    Braggadocious! Introducing: The Blog Brag

    Has it ever occurred to you how braggy songs can be?  In particular hip hop songs are pretty damn braggy.  It makes me laugh cause when you hear a braggy, pompous, I’m awesome, Eat my #@$% song you’re all pumped up and like…HELL YEA!!!  PREACH!! You da Man!  And you don’t mind the bragging at…

  • Annoyance Analytics

    Annoyance Analytics

    The other day I was annoying Mr. VS as I typically do on a DAILY/HOURLY/MINUTE (ly ?) basis and it occurred to me that I need some kind of statistics to tell me if my annoyance campaigns are actually working.  Like…am I properly annoying Mr. VS or are my tactics all wrong?  It’s like how when…

  • Teachers Getting Their Viral 15 Minutes

    Teachers Getting Their Viral 15 Minutes

    I don’t know about you but I am SO SICK to death of seeing those posts on Facebook, etc, from teachers who are trying to “teach” their class something about the power/dangers of social media.  It’s so freaking annoying!  Each one acts like they’re the first person to ever come up with the idea and…

  • Your Viewing Pleasure – Leslie Hall- Body Rolls

    Your Viewing Pleasure – Leslie Hall- Body Rolls

    Mr. VS makes fun of me for liking this, however even he had this song stuck in his head after I forced him to view it…. I’ve even been viewing this in the morning to start my day off right. For some reason I find this song to be motivating.  It reminds me of Napoleon…

  • A Slip and Fall on Snow and Ice

    A Slip and Fall on Snow and Ice

    Sometimes I can be really graceful, much like a figure skater floating and gliding over the ice in a blowy sea green monstrosity.  Can you imagine it now, as I ran to my car on a rainy night that was unfortunately hiding nasty tricksy invisible ice?  It was a glory to be seen!  The judges…

  • Sexy Canning = Botulism

    Sexy Canning = Botulism

    Mr. VS and I were quite domesticated (like badly behaved pets) this fall and we tried some canning from the bounty of the land, i.e. our garden. BTW…we totally have a farm or something minus any animals except cats – cat farm? Our farm has no name currently but it could be called Poison Ivy…

  • Forget the Lifetime Failure Tally: Look Ahead

    Forget the Lifetime Failure Tally: Look Ahead

    I’ve now officially (you heard it here) been informed, through an article online that I cannot find again (did it really exist??) that I should be looking toward the future and not at the past. Mr. VS also recently told me that millionaires and highly successful people refuse to see failure and instead are always…

  • My Body is a Polluted Bombed Out Wasteland

    My Body is a Polluted Bombed Out Wasteland

    So as you might know, I’ve been on meds (Zoloft for anxiety/panic attacks) for about a year and a half.  Prior to this  med-circus I’m partaking in now, I had been off meds for 3.5 years.  And before that I was on them for about 8 years and prior to that I was medication free…

“Sometimes the darkness makes the light seem brighter.”

Victoria Sawyer

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