VS
Author Victoria Sawyer
Bring Me To Life
New novel coming soon!
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Sexy Canning = Botulism
Mr. VS and I were quite domesticated (like badly behaved pets) this fall and we tried some canning from the bounty of the land, i.e. our garden. BTW…we totally have a farm or something minus any animals except cats – cat farm? Our farm has no name currently but it could be called Poison Ivy…
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Forget the Lifetime Failure Tally: Look Ahead
I’ve now officially (you heard it here) been informed, through an article online that I cannot find again (did it really exist??) that I should be looking toward the future and not at the past. Mr. VS also recently told me that millionaires and highly successful people refuse to see failure and instead are always…
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My Body is a Polluted Bombed Out Wasteland
So as you might know, I’ve been on meds (Zoloft for anxiety/panic attacks) for about a year and a half. Prior to this med-circus I’m partaking in now, I had been off meds for 3.5 years. And before that I was on them for about 8 years and prior to that I was medication free…
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Broken, The Internet Is
So there are some people out there that think they are going to break the internet with their ass. These ‘people’ shall remain nameless since I can’t stand to toot their horn more than it has already been tooted by everyone else on the planet. However, I do have a few things to say on…
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A Case of “the Uglies” with Mincing and Ogling
Yesterday I had a mean case of the uglies. It’s sort of like the “mondays” but it’s the uglies instead. I don’t mean, I was ugly, as in I was horrible to be around or my mood was hideous or anything like that. What I mean is that I felt…hideous, physically. Yes, yesterday I was…
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Bring Me To Life – New Fiction in the works!
After more than 13 years I’ve started writing again and I picked up a story I started back in 2010. It’s a gritty, dark, sexy modern fairytale – a Sleeping Beauty reboot inspired by sex, drugs & rock n’ roll! Back in 2010 I was inspired by Evanescence’s song of the same name as well…
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My Endometriosis Story
Having a chronic illness is cool. Having several is even better. It’s especially fun when you think one of them might be gone and then it REARS its ugly head yet again and brings you right back to square one, living Groundhog Day all over again. So let’s talk about my Endometriosis story, which I…
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Like Me, Oh Please Like Me!
Ok we’re getting a little desperate around these parts lately in the “tone” of our posts. Note to self, stop being disgusting! haha. I kid! I want you guys to like my new Facebook page! I need 30 likes before I can pick my own url etc, so get over there and help a sister…
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Winner! And My V-Day Poem Explained!
So, amazingly, somehow, don’t ask me how, the winner of my raffle is Jocelyn Dex! I swear to you guys on everything I hold dear that I didn’t rig this thing! I just hit the button for Rafflecopter to let me know who the winner was and her name literally popped up. So, congrats Jocelyn! …
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Imagine a Sexy Raging Frat Party
Sexy, scandalous and…crazy. Let me take you on a journey in your imagination: Imagine a raging Halloween party at a dirty frat. Imagine a small college party at an apartment just off campus, smoke billowing through the air from a glass pipe as you inhale and exhale, coughing, suddenly lightheaded and…free. Imagine playing asshole with…
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From the Business End of a Loaded Handgun
Hello All, in honor of my book being available for purchase today on Amazon, here, I wanted to share this serious post about Suicide as this is one of the themes that is dealt with in my novel. Now whatever you do, do not look up suicide on google images like I just did, there…
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I’m Just a Day Away!
Hi all, just a quick update. I’m really excited because I’m very close to publishing my novel. I’m doing a final reading now to catch any last formatting, grammatical or other errors and then I’m uploading my novel! I can’t believe I’ve come this far. Stay tuned and I’ll let you know when it’s finally…
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My Brain is Technology
I think my Brain might be hiding things from me. In fact, I know my brain is hiding shit. Have you ever really given your brain a thought? Brains are weird-ass shit. I started thinking about my brain in the middle of the…
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The Term “Plus-Size” Pisses Me Off.
The other day I was reading this article on Yahoo: How Shopping with a Plus-sized Model Made Me Face My Own Body Issues. And I started getting pissed off and fired up about the word Plus Size. WTF kind of word is that? …
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Weight Gain Extravaganza
Recently I came to the conclusion that we have so many feelings and emotions and thoughts and self-flagellation and judging of others involved in our weight. I know, I’m a genius for realizing this super obvious emotional response. However, the thought that occurred…
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Friend-cation and Camping Sucks
I just went on the most fun friend-cation ever! BEST TIME EVER!! YOLO fools!!! (We were all about yelling YOLO about anything and everything because we hate it so much. YOLO is dumb (as is Facebook and everyone’s obnox posts about themselves). It’s something you’d yell while doing a keg stand, however it’s actually trying…
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I Abused Photoshop Just For You
Here’s another one of those things that just blows your mind. PHOTOSHOP!! I’m actually a photoshop user, but I don’t really abuse it like some people do. I don’t flog the ‘shop. However, for you, for today, I decided to do it. Abuse!! (Also this post is NEWLY updated, by popular demand, with the original…
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Studying the Male of the Species and Boy Eyes
Do you live with a man? Do you know one? Have you ever interacted with the male of the species? You know…those ones that aren’t female? Yeah, those guys. You’ve seen them around, I’m sure. They’re everywhere. And yes, if you’re female, you’ve probably been ogled by these so-called “males” of the species. You know…
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Just FYI – Submarines
FYI – Submarines Just an FYI that Mr. VS might have something to do with submarines existing in the world. I just want to make that clear. Also over the weekend while we were camping (more on that later) and were swimming in the lake, I climbed on Mr. VS’s back and said loudly…..DIVE DIVE…
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Sanctioning Cat Fights: Bitey and the Gentleman
My husband claims that I am promoting cat fights. And not just promoting, but organizing, advertising and preparing the combatants. He is wrong, of course. I’m doing nothing of the sort, because animal fights are inhumane. (weird how human is a part of the word inhumane but it can apply to many species?? We are…
Angst Anarchy 