VS
Author Victoria Sawyer


Bring Me To Life
New novel coming soon!
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Sexy Canning = Botulism
Mr. VS and I were quite domesticated (like badly behaved pets) this fall and we tried some canning from the bounty of the land, i.e. our garden. BTW…we totally have a farm or something minus any animals except cats – cat farm? Our farm has no name currently but it could be called Poison Ivy…
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Forget the Lifetime Failure Tally: Look Ahead
I’ve now officially (you heard it here) been informed, through an article online that I cannot find again (did it really exist??) that I should be looking toward the future and not at the past. Mr. VS also recently told me that millionaires and highly successful people refuse to see failure and instead are always…
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My Body is a Polluted Bombed Out Wasteland
So as you might know, I’ve been on meds (Zoloft for anxiety/panic attacks) for about a year and a half. Prior to this med-circus I’m partaking in now, I had been off meds for 3.5 years. And before that I was on them for about 8 years and prior to that I was medication free…
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Broken, The Internet Is
So there are some people out there that think they are going to break the internet with their ass. These ‘people’ shall remain nameless since I can’t stand to toot their horn more than it has already been tooted by everyone else on the planet. However, I do have a few things to say on…
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A Case of “the Uglies” with Mincing and Ogling
Yesterday I had a mean case of the uglies. It’s sort of like the “mondays” but it’s the uglies instead. I don’t mean, I was ugly, as in I was horrible to be around or my mood was hideous or anything like that. What I mean is that I felt…hideous, physically. Yes, yesterday I was…
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Addicted
You guys, I have a confession to make: The girl who stands before you, or wait…sits before you…types before you, the girl clacking on the keyboard really fast, no still not right, the girl who is hiding behind the computer monitor, yeah her, she is a blog addict. This is my brain on blog. It’s…
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I Call Shenanigans!!!
Humor, how I love theeeeee. I think humor is a life necessity. Like air, like water, like food. We need it. If humor didn’t exist my life would suck. I wouldn’t joke with my husband about truly terrible dirty things and laugh and laugh, I wouldn’t do ridiculous things like throw mini or large temper…
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Dear Blog, It’s Me, Not You.
Dear Blog, I’m trying my absolute hardest to ignore you in favor of lounging on the couch eating chocolate and watching mindless TV. And you know what, I’m not sorry. I said, I’m not sorry! Why do you have to try to make me feel guilty? I need some “me” time in this relationship and…
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Your Exclamation Points are Hurting My Ears!
The other day my ears were acting cray-cray and suddenly everything seemed really really loud. (Damn cold!) Mr. VS was trying to have a normal conversation with me and I had to shush him like 5 times. He was screaming! And then I went to work and everyone there was yelling like a bunch of…
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Insta-Replay for Bloggers, Writers and Artists
I was watching the news this morning and they were doing a recap of high school football and they kept showing instant replays of all the amazing catches and long runs that the high school students were doing at their foose-ball games. There were even hometown heros and VIP’s and whatnot. I thought to myself…it must be pretty snazzy…
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I Am Full of Bullshit: My Best Quotes on Angst
I’ve decided to collect together for your enjoyment and LOL’ing (still I shudder) an assortment of crazy, strange and yes, awesome quotes from my favorite Angst posts. I can and do amuse myself all the time (perhaps I’m the only one?). So…brace yourselves for genius (I’m so full of shit I can’t even let that…
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Something Stupid
You know what’s stupid? The fact that I have to drive to work every single day. It’s goddamned ridiculous that every day, I drive 45 minutes to work and 45 minutes home. EVERY DAY!! The same damn commute, wasting the same amount of…
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Failure the Musical!!!! STARRING MEEEE!!!
AKA: A Catalog of Woes: The Year in Review I know it’s not necessarily the time of year to be doing a year in review, but I have a need to see all my woes laid out in a humorous way for the…
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You Big Gorgeous Sexy Unfathomable Universe You!
The universe is dead sexy. Did you know? I’ve been obsessed with it lately and have been learning a lot about the latest discoveries and theories. So I’m going to walk you through the sexiness and vastness of space in this post. And…
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A Strictly “Adult” Birthday
I recently celebrated a birthday which I kept strictly adult. And by strictly adult, I’m referring to the fact that there’s no way I received toys intended for children for my 33rd birthday celebration. But before we debate my adult-hood status, let’s start out with how Mr. VS received a bonus at work a few weeks before…
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Resting Bitch Face Syndrome
People across the world finally have a name for a disorder they’ve been suffering from for years: Resting Bitch Face Syndrome (RBFS). RBFS sufferers no longer have to suffer in silence! Now that their disorder is finally being taken seriously by society, there is hope for a cure or at the very least understanding and…
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I Got No Time for Egos
You know what drives me nuts? Big Double-Whopper Egos. They annoy me and give me indigestion and high blood pressure. Ain’t NOBODY got TIME for EGOS! They’re the reason that so much in society and the world goes shitty. Because people have too much wrapped up in their damn egos. It’s why people can’t admit they’re…
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Vampires be Chillin’ at My House
This week it’s LADIES NIGHT!! Be sure to visit the other FBF bloggers (their links are at the bottom of the post)! At my house, we’ve got a serious domestic vampire problem. It’s getting really bad because the cats are hanging out with them in the yard, chillaxin’ in the long grass, hanging out under…
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Your Viewing Pleasure – Drunk History
For your viewing pleasure, a bit of Drunk History, as told by some drunk motherfuckas and acted out by Hollywood’s best. Ummm..amazing!!






