VS

Author Victoria Sawyer

Bring Me To Life

New novel coming soon!

  • Sexy Canning = Botulism

    Sexy Canning = Botulism

    Mr. VS and I were quite domesticated (like badly behaved pets) this fall and we tried some canning from the bounty of the land, i.e. our garden. BTW…we totally have a farm or something minus any animals except cats – cat farm? Our farm has no name currently but it could be called Poison Ivy…

  • Forget the Lifetime Failure Tally: Look Ahead

    Forget the Lifetime Failure Tally: Look Ahead

    I’ve now officially (you heard it here) been informed, through an article online that I cannot find again (did it really exist??) that I should be looking toward the future and not at the past. Mr. VS also recently told me that millionaires and highly successful people refuse to see failure and instead are always…

  • My Body is a Polluted Bombed Out Wasteland

    My Body is a Polluted Bombed Out Wasteland

    So as you might know, I’ve been on meds (Zoloft for anxiety/panic attacks) for about a year and a half.  Prior to this  med-circus I’m partaking in now, I had been off meds for 3.5 years.  And before that I was on them for about 8 years and prior to that I was medication free…

  • Broken, The Internet Is

    Broken, The Internet Is

    So there are some people out there that think they are going to break the internet with their ass. These ‘people’ shall remain nameless since I can’t stand to toot their horn more than it has already been tooted by everyone else on the planet. However, I do have a few things to say on…

  • A Case of “the Uglies” with Mincing and Ogling

    A Case of “the Uglies” with Mincing and Ogling

    Yesterday I had a mean case of the uglies.  It’s sort of like the “mondays” but it’s the uglies instead.  I don’t mean, I was ugly, as in I was horrible to be around or my mood was hideous or anything like that.  What I mean is that I felt…hideous, physically.  Yes,  yesterday I was…

  • Avoidance Methods that Really Work – Guaranteed!

    I visited the old Writer’s Digest today to look at writing prompts because I’m stagnant like a mosquito-breeding mossy woodland pool.  I’m breeding mosquitoes that’s how motionless I am at the moment.  I might even be breeding ticks!!  GROSS.  As a nasty aside, I like call them body spiders, personally.  I’ll say to my husband,…

  • Guest Blog Post: “Addicted” by Victoria Sawyer

    Most of you have already seen this sad sad cry for help about my blog addiction, but if you haven’t my buddy Gus has posted it to his blog.  Also his blog is just cool…so check it out! Guest Blog Post: “Addicted” by Victoria Sawyer. via Guest Blog Post: “Addicted” by Victoria Sawyer.

  • How “I” Knocked My Own Socks Off

    I’m so helpful lately! You guys should be PAYING me for all this free advice! No?! You think I should pay you for forcing your eyes to bleed and your head to reel like a drunken idiot? Fine. FINE!! Someone slap me, I’m getting a bit full of it… This post is supposed to be…

  • The-Fraudulent-Not-Confident-Blogger

    Ummm…so….social media and blogging is actually kind of hard to keep up on.  Does anyone else hate posting to Facebook?  It’s like whenever you post there are crickets chirping loudly in the background.  NO ONE is there.  Or if they are, they are not hearing you despite your repeated screaming of the same shit again…

  • I Made Words: Anarchy!!

    Anarchy, Anarchy, Government Grammar is evil!!! I don’t know if you know, but I’m an English major with an actual BA (Bad Ass)degree in English.  Does that mean that I am certified to speak English you ask?  Don’t be an asshole!  (I am certified for that, BTW, but it’s not the only thing we English…

  • The Importance of Voice in Non-Fiction

    This is a guest blog post from Nickolas Baron from Grammarly (a free proofreading tool for writers).  It’s his take on the importance of voice and trust me, I agree!  Voice is incredibly important, no matter what kind of writing you’re attempting.  An interesting narrator will get you everywhere!  Read on for tips on writing…

  • What Kind of Strange Godforsaken Place is This?

    So, if you’re new to this site, like an intrepid (love this word) space traveler who has stumbled upon a strange and clearly godforsaken (also love this word) alien world, you might begin to ask yourself, what the hell kind of place is this?  What does it mean!  By god, Captain Kirk, where are we???!!! …

  • The Writing Process Blog Tour

    I’m participating in a Writing Process Blog Tour and was tagged by Leti Del Mar from Words with Leti Del Mar.  Check her out! And Please stay tuned because at the bottom I’m going to introduce you to two blogger/author friends of mine who are AHMAZING!!  Or you can just skip all my blather and…

  • Pity Party for 2! Whoohooo!

    Sometimes you need a pity party.  Sometimes you don’t know you need one and someone hosts one for you anyway and doesn’t tell you it’s gonna be tomorrow at noon and when you show up where you always show up on Tuesdays at noon, there it is, waiting for you.  Surprise!!  It’s a surprise pity…

  • This Season of USA is Lit!

    This Season of USA is Lit!

    These writers on this season of the USA are doing a bang up job keeping us on the edge of our seats! Let’s just hope they’re not like the writers for LOST! Buckle up for some existential rambling DREAD below! (Don’t worry, it’s…

  • The Happy Forgotten Place Where Plastic Lives: The Landfill

    The Happy Forgotten Place Where Plastic Lives: The Landfill

    Remember that place the so-called Landfill? I know you’re like…”What? No? What place? I don’t recall anything like that.” (All said while avoiding eye contact). Well, I’m here to point your attention in the direction of your local landfill, filled not with LAND…

  • This is Why We’re All Overweight

    This is Why We’re All Overweight

    I’ve done a little thinking on the topic and I’ve come up with several reason why we’re all overweight and continue to gain the old lbs. The equation looks something like this: unhappiness + depression + meaninglessness + boredom + our modern culture…

  • Welcome to my Unconscious Mind: 23 Weird-Ass Dreams

    Welcome to my Unconscious Mind: 23 Weird-Ass Dreams

    While I was enjoying a nice long vacation (are you jealous?! HAHA!! STOP…HOLD THAT THOUGHT: this is an old post and now there’s no longer cause for jealousy because there are 5 day work weeks stretching out into infinity) ANYWAY, I was noticing that I have a lot of weird-ass dreams.  In particular it came…

  • 2 Kitten Power

    2 Kitten Power

    There are 2 kinds of men in the world, those that want to go out of their way to help women lift heavy objects and those that feel women are as strong as men and can help themselves.  Guess which kind of man Mr. VS happens to be? That’s right, he’s the kind that believes…

  • A Mister Mister Holiday Tragedy

    A Mister Mister Holiday Tragedy

    When I walked in the door the other day after work, Mr. VS was grooving around the kitchen while listening to Mister Mister and simultaneously baking chocolate chip cookies.  He has a Mister Mister record on vinyl.  It was blasting in all its 80’s glory. It was embarrassing.  But then I noticed the huge bottles of Jameson…

  • Myspace to My Place ~ a love story

    Myspace to My Place ~ a love story

    Today I’m going to bring you guys back in time!  (BACK IN TIMEEEE!!) via a sweet time machine DeLorean so you can witness how Mr. VS and I met. Yes, it was online and yes we had a blind date (sorta) and yes I was afraid that Mr. VS was a murderer. Before we jump into…

  • My Waste Toner Cartridge Needs Replacement

    When I say my waste toner cartridge needs to be replaced, what I really mean is that there is waste that needs eliminating.  And what I mean by that is that my body seems to need to eliminate waste all the freaking time and I’m over it.  Let’s just get over the ew factor here…

  • An Awkward Encounter: BFF Edition

    An Awkward Encounter: BFF Edition

    Have you ever had a really awkward encounter with someone you’re quite close to?  Have you ever seen someone “out of context” and it made your brain feel all funny and mushy and you couldn’t speak like an edu-macated homo-sapien?  An occurrence like this happened to me just the other day with my friend Annie…

  • Sexy Canning = Botulism

    Sexy Canning = Botulism

    Mr. VS and I were quite domesticated (like badly behaved pets) this fall and we tried some canning from the bounty of the land, i.e. our garden. BTW…we totally have a farm or something minus any animals except cats – cat farm? Our farm has no name currently but it could be called Poison Ivy…

  • Forget the Lifetime Failure Tally: Look Ahead

    Forget the Lifetime Failure Tally: Look Ahead

    I’ve now officially (you heard it here) been informed, through an article online that I cannot find again (did it really exist??) that I should be looking toward the future and not at the past. Mr. VS also recently told me that millionaires and highly successful people refuse to see failure and instead are always…

  • My Body is a Polluted Bombed Out Wasteland

    My Body is a Polluted Bombed Out Wasteland

    So as you might know, I’ve been on meds (Zoloft for anxiety/panic attacks) for about a year and a half.  Prior to this  med-circus I’m partaking in now, I had been off meds for 3.5 years.  And before that I was on them for about 8 years and prior to that I was medication free…

“Sometimes the darkness makes the light seem brighter.”

Victoria Sawyer

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