VS

Author Victoria Sawyer

Bring Me To Life

New novel coming soon!

  • Sexy Canning = Botulism

    Sexy Canning = Botulism

    Mr. VS and I were quite domesticated (like badly behaved pets) this fall and we tried some canning from the bounty of the land, i.e. our garden. BTW…we totally have a farm or something minus any animals except cats – cat farm? Our farm has no name currently but it could be called Poison Ivy…

  • Forget the Lifetime Failure Tally: Look Ahead

    Forget the Lifetime Failure Tally: Look Ahead

    I’ve now officially (you heard it here) been informed, through an article online that I cannot find again (did it really exist??) that I should be looking toward the future and not at the past. Mr. VS also recently told me that millionaires and highly successful people refuse to see failure and instead are always…

  • My Body is a Polluted Bombed Out Wasteland

    My Body is a Polluted Bombed Out Wasteland

    So as you might know, I’ve been on meds (Zoloft for anxiety/panic attacks) for about a year and a half.  Prior to this  med-circus I’m partaking in now, I had been off meds for 3.5 years.  And before that I was on them for about 8 years and prior to that I was medication free…

  • Broken, The Internet Is

    Broken, The Internet Is

    So there are some people out there that think they are going to break the internet with their ass. These ‘people’ shall remain nameless since I can’t stand to toot their horn more than it has already been tooted by everyone else on the planet. However, I do have a few things to say on…

  • A Case of “the Uglies” with Mincing and Ogling

    A Case of “the Uglies” with Mincing and Ogling

    Yesterday I had a mean case of the uglies.  It’s sort of like the “mondays” but it’s the uglies instead.  I don’t mean, I was ugly, as in I was horrible to be around or my mood was hideous or anything like that.  What I mean is that I felt…hideous, physically.  Yes,  yesterday I was…

  • Avoidance Methods that Really Work – Guaranteed!

    I visited the old Writer’s Digest today to look at writing prompts because I’m stagnant like a mosquito-breeding mossy woodland pool.  I’m breeding mosquitoes that’s how motionless I am at the moment.  I might even be breeding ticks!!  GROSS.  As a nasty aside, I like call them body spiders, personally.  I’ll say to my husband,…

  • Guest Blog Post: “Addicted” by Victoria Sawyer

    Most of you have already seen this sad sad cry for help about my blog addiction, but if you haven’t my buddy Gus has posted it to his blog.  Also his blog is just cool…so check it out! Guest Blog Post: “Addicted” by Victoria Sawyer. via Guest Blog Post: “Addicted” by Victoria Sawyer.

  • How “I” Knocked My Own Socks Off

    I’m so helpful lately! You guys should be PAYING me for all this free advice! No?! You think I should pay you for forcing your eyes to bleed and your head to reel like a drunken idiot? Fine. FINE!! Someone slap me, I’m getting a bit full of it… This post is supposed to be…

  • An Exercise in Writing

    My blog stats recently have been abysmal.  Less than abysmal.  Sad.  Sorry.  Tragic.  I realize that I’ve slacked terribly on promotion of any kind and my frenzy of last year has abated like the calm after a hurricane…. and so I am left with…crickets.  But you know what?  I decided to change my attitude about…

  • Much Biting Ensues; And Sibling Torture (Wolfenstein 3D Edition)

    So a friend sent me a link to this blog…. Hyperbole and a Half.  Allie is freaking awesome and hilarious.  I’ve been manically reading all of her posts over the last few days.  I’m like…stalking her…but not in a stalkerish-stalkery way.  I’m just like…reading the stuff she put out there on the FREE interwebs without…

  • If You’re So Smart, You Rig Up My Life!!

    I’ve been spending a bit of time thinking about submission.  Actually, wait, that’s the wrong word.  That sounds a bit too sexual for what I’m trying to get at…the right word is surrender.  Now get your mind out of the gutter and join me in the untouchable ether of thoughts, emotions, the ego and of…

  • Dammit Write a Blog Post!!

    “Dammit write a blog post for gawd’s sake!!!”  This is what I’ve been saying to myself for the past 2 weeks.  And I have stuff I could write about, but I’ve been refusing to write ANYTHING at all.  It’s the holidays afterall and I’ve been super ridic busy and yes, lazy as sin.  Santa should…

  • Lemme Hear You Bring the Hype

    So once in a while I get to write new-ish articles for work, as I am the “newsletter” guru.  Today I had to write an article and I thought…why write this all boring and professional?  Why not write it FUN and batshit insane, like I do the blog?  (Sometimes when I’m writing blog posts, they…

  • New Friends, Anxiety Relief, Creativity Fail and Inspiration Desperation

    Coherence be damned! This is gonna be a weird post.  I have so many random things going on in my head.  I feel like these are the most uninteresting posts to read where someone writes about several things…but unfortunately for you, I’ve got nothing else that’s inspiring me at the moment that would make a…

  • This Season of USA is Lit!

    This Season of USA is Lit!

    These writers on this season of the USA are doing a bang up job keeping us on the edge of our seats! Let’s just hope they’re not like the writers for LOST! Buckle up for some existential rambling DREAD below! (Don’t worry, it’s…

  • The Happy Forgotten Place Where Plastic Lives: The Landfill

    The Happy Forgotten Place Where Plastic Lives: The Landfill

    Remember that place the so-called Landfill? I know you’re like…”What? No? What place? I don’t recall anything like that.” (All said while avoiding eye contact). Well, I’m here to point your attention in the direction of your local landfill, filled not with LAND…

  • This is Why We’re All Overweight

    This is Why We’re All Overweight

    I’ve done a little thinking on the topic and I’ve come up with several reason why we’re all overweight and continue to gain the old lbs. The equation looks something like this: unhappiness + depression + meaninglessness + boredom + our modern culture…

  • Friday Obsession-Thoughts: Gifs and Funny Blogs

    YEAH It’s the FRIZZ!!  How happy are you?  The Frizz is the best day of the work week.  And when it hits end-o’-work o’clock then it’s the best day/time of the weekend too!  All in all, a sweet day. This week I’m obsessed with 2 things.  Gifs and Funny blogs.  For example, here’s one blog…

  • Tandem Sleeping

    Tandem Sleeping

    When I write Tandem Sleeping it makes me laugh.  It reminds me of slalom or something or for some reason bob sledding.  Why?  Why? Anyway, I want to write about sleeping with someone else.  It’s weird.  In particular I’m going to tell you about sleeping with Mr. VS.  Doesn’t that sound like fun and/or inappropriate?  …

  • A New Addiction Cometh: Coffee

    A New Addiction Cometh: Coffee

    I’ve recently added a new addiction to my collection: coffee. (I do collect addictions even though I make claim to NOT having an addictive personality. FYI, the things that I claim are always strongly suspect.)  Regarding Coffee, I never thought this addiction would happen to me. I thought I was immune to Coffee’s charms.  But…

  • I Am Full of Bullshit: My Best Quotes on Angst

    I Am Full of Bullshit: My Best Quotes on Angst

    I’ve decided to collect together for your enjoyment and LOL’ing (still I shudder) an assortment of crazy, strange and yes, awesome quotes from my favorite Angst posts.  I can and do amuse myself all the time (perhaps I’m the only one?).  So…brace yourselves for genius (I’m so full of shit I can’t even let that…

  • Optimizing SEO for Maximum Angst

    In learning recently about SEO, I’ve realized that I do a terrible job of catering to my old friend Google.  Or Bing or Chrome or Jeeves or Yahoo or whomever rules my online searchability status (they treat me like a peasant, when clearly I’m deserving of royalty status.  I am QUEEN!).  Honestly, I don’t like…

  • Uncanned Laughter: Post O’ the Day

    I’m responding to a Post O’ the Day!  Here’s the prompt:  “A misused word, a misremembered song lyric, a cream pie that just happened to be there: tell us about a time you (or someone else) said or did something unintentionally funny. ” When I went camping a year ago with friends, we had the…

  • Sexy Canning = Botulism

    Sexy Canning = Botulism

    Mr. VS and I were quite domesticated (like badly behaved pets) this fall and we tried some canning from the bounty of the land, i.e. our garden. BTW…we totally have a farm or something minus any animals except cats – cat farm? Our farm has no name currently but it could be called Poison Ivy…

  • Forget the Lifetime Failure Tally: Look Ahead

    Forget the Lifetime Failure Tally: Look Ahead

    I’ve now officially (you heard it here) been informed, through an article online that I cannot find again (did it really exist??) that I should be looking toward the future and not at the past. Mr. VS also recently told me that millionaires and highly successful people refuse to see failure and instead are always…

  • My Body is a Polluted Bombed Out Wasteland

    My Body is a Polluted Bombed Out Wasteland

    So as you might know, I’ve been on meds (Zoloft for anxiety/panic attacks) for about a year and a half.  Prior to this  med-circus I’m partaking in now, I had been off meds for 3.5 years.  And before that I was on them for about 8 years and prior to that I was medication free…

“Sometimes the darkness makes the light seem brighter.”

Victoria Sawyer

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