VS

Author Victoria Sawyer

Bring Me To Life

New novel coming soon!

  • Sexy Canning = Botulism

    Sexy Canning = Botulism

    Mr. VS and I were quite domesticated (like badly behaved pets) this fall and we tried some canning from the bounty of the land, i.e. our garden. BTW…we totally have a farm or something minus any animals except cats – cat farm? Our farm has no name currently but it could be called Poison Ivy…

  • Forget the Lifetime Failure Tally: Look Ahead

    Forget the Lifetime Failure Tally: Look Ahead

    I’ve now officially (you heard it here) been informed, through an article online that I cannot find again (did it really exist??) that I should be looking toward the future and not at the past. Mr. VS also recently told me that millionaires and highly successful people refuse to see failure and instead are always…

  • My Body is a Polluted Bombed Out Wasteland

    My Body is a Polluted Bombed Out Wasteland

    So as you might know, I’ve been on meds (Zoloft for anxiety/panic attacks) for about a year and a half.  Prior to this  med-circus I’m partaking in now, I had been off meds for 3.5 years.  And before that I was on them for about 8 years and prior to that I was medication free…

  • Broken, The Internet Is

    Broken, The Internet Is

    So there are some people out there that think they are going to break the internet with their ass. These ‘people’ shall remain nameless since I can’t stand to toot their horn more than it has already been tooted by everyone else on the planet. However, I do have a few things to say on…

  • A Case of “the Uglies” with Mincing and Ogling

    A Case of “the Uglies” with Mincing and Ogling

    Yesterday I had a mean case of the uglies.  It’s sort of like the “mondays” but it’s the uglies instead.  I don’t mean, I was ugly, as in I was horrible to be around or my mood was hideous or anything like that.  What I mean is that I felt…hideous, physically.  Yes,  yesterday I was…

  • Adult Temper Tantrums Are Allowed.

    I’m throwing the worst temper tantrum ever.  Now before you start imagining me kicking and screaming, I need to clue you in on what that means.  Worst refers to the fact that this is probably the most pathetic temper tantrum ever recorded because I’m far too lazy to engage in true hysterics.  I almost feel…

  • Earth Destroyed by Swarming Pestilence!

    I’ve probably written this blog post a million times in my head while trying to sleep at night.  I’ve written it so well behind my eyelids that I’ll probably never be able to write it that way in real life.  But I’m going to try even though it might be inelegant.  It’s a controversial topic…

  • Anxiety, Endo and Decisions = I Don’t Know

    I’m at a loss for what to write about next.  I have several drafts sitting here that I’m not sure I should post and I’m still kind of decompressing after surgery last week.  I’m not sure what people want to hear.  Generally the positive helpful posts are much better received than the down and out…

  • An Exercise in Writing

    My blog stats recently have been abysmal.  Less than abysmal.  Sad.  Sorry.  Tragic.  I realize that I’ve slacked terribly on promotion of any kind and my frenzy of last year has abated like the calm after a hurricane…. and so I am left with…crickets.  But you know what?  I decided to change my attitude about…

  • Much Biting Ensues; And Sibling Torture (Wolfenstein 3D Edition)

    So a friend sent me a link to this blog…. Hyperbole and a Half.  Allie is freaking awesome and hilarious.  I’ve been manically reading all of her posts over the last few days.  I’m like…stalking her…but not in a stalkerish-stalkery way.  I’m just like…reading the stuff she put out there on the FREE interwebs without…

  • If You’re So Smart, You Rig Up My Life!!

    I’ve been spending a bit of time thinking about submission.  Actually, wait, that’s the wrong word.  That sounds a bit too sexual for what I’m trying to get at…the right word is surrender.  Now get your mind out of the gutter and join me in the untouchable ether of thoughts, emotions, the ego and of…

  • Dammit Write a Blog Post!!

    “Dammit write a blog post for gawd’s sake!!!”  This is what I’ve been saying to myself for the past 2 weeks.  And I have stuff I could write about, but I’ve been refusing to write ANYTHING at all.  It’s the holidays afterall and I’ve been super ridic busy and yes, lazy as sin.  Santa should…

  • Lemme Hear You Bring the Hype

    So once in a while I get to write new-ish articles for work, as I am the “newsletter” guru.  Today I had to write an article and I thought…why write this all boring and professional?  Why not write it FUN and batshit insane, like I do the blog?  (Sometimes when I’m writing blog posts, they…

  • New Friends, Anxiety Relief, Creativity Fail and Inspiration Desperation

    Coherence be damned! This is gonna be a weird post.  I have so many random things going on in my head.  I feel like these are the most uninteresting posts to read where someone writes about several things…but unfortunately for you, I’ve got nothing else that’s inspiring me at the moment that would make a…

  • This Season of USA is Lit!

    This Season of USA is Lit!

    These writers on this season of the USA are doing a bang up job keeping us on the edge of our seats! Let’s just hope they’re not like the writers for LOST! Buckle up for some existential rambling DREAD below! (Don’t worry, it’s…

  • The Happy Forgotten Place Where Plastic Lives: The Landfill

    The Happy Forgotten Place Where Plastic Lives: The Landfill

    Remember that place the so-called Landfill? I know you’re like…”What? No? What place? I don’t recall anything like that.” (All said while avoiding eye contact). Well, I’m here to point your attention in the direction of your local landfill, filled not with LAND…

  • This is Why We’re All Overweight

    This is Why We’re All Overweight

    I’ve done a little thinking on the topic and I’ve come up with several reason why we’re all overweight and continue to gain the old lbs. The equation looks something like this: unhappiness + depression + meaninglessness + boredom + our modern culture…

  • Complain-a-thon: Traffic

    Complain-a-thon: Traffic

    I don’t know why, but when I’m driving is when I seem to find things annoying and ridiculous and stupid.  In particular, driving makes me hate humanity.  That’s normal, right? Here’s a list of things that I think are stupid (mostly because it makes me have anxiety about my MPG.  Seriously I have anxiety/irritation about…

  • A Wooden Anniversary with Hiking

    A Wooden Anniversary with Hiking

    Mr. VS and I just celebrated our “Wooden” Anniversary.  For those not in the know, a wooden anniversary is 5 years and Mr. VS and I are enjoying wooden wedded bliss  Thus we celebrate.  It’s lame because once you get up there in years for anniversaries you get to have silver or gold anniversaries, a…

  • Submitting to the Sickness

    Per usual I have obtained through no fault of my own (I swear) my typical September Cold.  YEEEHAWWW.  So very thrilling I can’t even contain myself as I wave my tissue pom-poms in the air with a barely mustered excitement. I don’t know what it is, but as soon as September rolls around I always…

  • Getting Social with the Locals

    Getting Social with the Locals

    Have you ever attempted to get social, face to face? Like actual FACE TIME in the REAL WORLD? And no, I don’t mean the program Face Time online. I mean like REAL in person, social media. Or just social, without the media.  Like Media-free socializing.  Saying it that way sounds so naughty!  NO protection at…

  • Friday Mad Libs

    Friday Mad Libs

    From now on, or whenever the hell I remember, I’m going to present you with some Mad Libs.  Remember Mad Libs?  That shit was great.  I remember being in my bedroom on the corded phone with my best friend (it was the 90’s! yea!!), filling out Mad Libs and laughing uproariously.  Of course we’d make…

  • Sexy Canning = Botulism

    Sexy Canning = Botulism

    Mr. VS and I were quite domesticated (like badly behaved pets) this fall and we tried some canning from the bounty of the land, i.e. our garden. BTW…we totally have a farm or something minus any animals except cats – cat farm? Our farm has no name currently but it could be called Poison Ivy…

  • Forget the Lifetime Failure Tally: Look Ahead

    Forget the Lifetime Failure Tally: Look Ahead

    I’ve now officially (you heard it here) been informed, through an article online that I cannot find again (did it really exist??) that I should be looking toward the future and not at the past. Mr. VS also recently told me that millionaires and highly successful people refuse to see failure and instead are always…

  • My Body is a Polluted Bombed Out Wasteland

    My Body is a Polluted Bombed Out Wasteland

    So as you might know, I’ve been on meds (Zoloft for anxiety/panic attacks) for about a year and a half.  Prior to this  med-circus I’m partaking in now, I had been off meds for 3.5 years.  And before that I was on them for about 8 years and prior to that I was medication free…

“Sometimes the darkness makes the light seem brighter.”

Victoria Sawyer

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