VS

Author Victoria Sawyer

Bring Me To Life

New novel coming soon!

  • Sexy Canning = Botulism

    Sexy Canning = Botulism

    Mr. VS and I were quite domesticated (like badly behaved pets) this fall and we tried some canning from the bounty of the land, i.e. our garden. BTW…we totally have a farm or something minus any animals except cats – cat farm? Our farm has no name currently but it could be called Poison Ivy…

  • Forget the Lifetime Failure Tally: Look Ahead

    Forget the Lifetime Failure Tally: Look Ahead

    I’ve now officially (you heard it here) been informed, through an article online that I cannot find again (did it really exist??) that I should be looking toward the future and not at the past. Mr. VS also recently told me that millionaires and highly successful people refuse to see failure and instead are always…

  • My Body is a Polluted Bombed Out Wasteland

    My Body is a Polluted Bombed Out Wasteland

    So as you might know, I’ve been on meds (Zoloft for anxiety/panic attacks) for about a year and a half.  Prior to this  med-circus I’m partaking in now, I had been off meds for 3.5 years.  And before that I was on them for about 8 years and prior to that I was medication free…

  • Broken, The Internet Is

    Broken, The Internet Is

    So there are some people out there that think they are going to break the internet with their ass. These ‘people’ shall remain nameless since I can’t stand to toot their horn more than it has already been tooted by everyone else on the planet. However, I do have a few things to say on…

  • A Case of “the Uglies” with Mincing and Ogling

    A Case of “the Uglies” with Mincing and Ogling

    Yesterday I had a mean case of the uglies.  It’s sort of like the “mondays” but it’s the uglies instead.  I don’t mean, I was ugly, as in I was horrible to be around or my mood was hideous or anything like that.  What I mean is that I felt…hideous, physically.  Yes,  yesterday I was…

  • Wife Competitions of Which We are Unaware

    This title just gets me.  It’s like backward.  Anyway…don’t get it into your little sick heads that this is about wife swapping or anything so scandalous as all that.  Although of course that’s the first place my sick little head went as I wrote this even though I know what I’m going to write about. …

  • Pity Party for 2! Whoohooo!

    Sometimes you need a pity party.  Sometimes you don’t know you need one and someone hosts one for you anyway and doesn’t tell you it’s gonna be tomorrow at noon and when you show up where you always show up on Tuesdays at noon, there it is, waiting for you.  Surprise!!  It’s a surprise pity…

  • Decoy Duck

    I have a new friend and he’s a decoy duck.  He’s old and his black paint is wearing off.  He’s sort of cool, if you’re into that kind of thing, although he doesn’t have a fancy paint job or racing stripes. He’s a pretty plain guy and my cat tries to body slam him on…

  • A Smexy Guest Post!

    I turn around as if I didn’t just touch him with my eyes, as if I didn’t get intimate with him and I dance. I dance as if he’s watching, which I know he is and I let the alcohol set me free within the music. I feel it, inside me, running along my nerves,…

  • Let’s Play Blog Roulette!

    Let’s Play Blog Roulette!

    So I was feeling frustrated. I wanted to find great writing in Blog Land.  I wanted to stumble upon something amazing!  And I kept searching through the reader and there was nothing that was jumping out at me.  Nothing!  So then I thought, I wish there was a blog that featured Guest Blogging opportunities ALL…

  • Blank Page, White and Clean

    Blank Page, White and Clean

    Blank sheet.  The paper white and clean, without smudge or mark, without thought or emotion. I want to dirty it. I want to fuel it with my dark side and then light it on fire.  Watch it burn and flame into a twisting ember that turns to ash. I want to extinguish it, put out…

  • Addicted

    Addicted

    You guys, I have a confession to make:  The girl who stands before you, or wait…sits before you…types before you, the girl clacking on the keyboard really fast, no still not right, the girl who is hiding behind the computer monitor, yeah her, she is a blog addict.  This is my brain on blog.  It’s…

  • Multifaceted

    It hurts This duality Soul and body Mind and spirit Do you know who I am? I am many, I am one Have you judged me yet? I am the dark and the light Polarizing, I am opposites Do you know my struggles? My fight, my bravery, The fear, the euphoria Do you feel my…

  • Those Notes, a Single Voice, Speaking

    Those Notes, a Single Voice, Speaking

    I want to get to the place where inspiration flows.  It grabs my hand, pulling it across the page as fast as my thoughts can fly and I don’t want to stop it.  I want to let it run free and wild like a child introduced to a field, running under the blue sky, the…

  • This Season of USA is Lit!

    This Season of USA is Lit!

    These writers on this season of the USA are doing a bang up job keeping us on the edge of our seats! Let’s just hope they’re not like the writers for LOST! Buckle up for some existential rambling DREAD below! (Don’t worry, it’s…

  • The Happy Forgotten Place Where Plastic Lives: The Landfill

    The Happy Forgotten Place Where Plastic Lives: The Landfill

    Remember that place the so-called Landfill? I know you’re like…”What? No? What place? I don’t recall anything like that.” (All said while avoiding eye contact). Well, I’m here to point your attention in the direction of your local landfill, filled not with LAND…

  • This is Why We’re All Overweight

    This is Why We’re All Overweight

    I’ve done a little thinking on the topic and I’ve come up with several reason why we’re all overweight and continue to gain the old lbs. The equation looks something like this: unhappiness + depression + meaninglessness + boredom + our modern culture…

  • I Made Words: Anarchy!!

    Anarchy, Anarchy, Government Grammar is evil!!! I don’t know if you know, but I’m an English major with an actual BA (Bad Ass)degree in English.  Does that mean that I am certified to speak English you ask?  Don’t be an asshole!  (I am certified for that, BTW, but it’s not the only thing we English…

  • Ahhh!!! Realization: I’m a Sci-Fi Nerd!!!

    Oh God, oh God, oh God.  Oh GOD!!!! PANIC!!! OH GAWD SAVE MEEEE!! Ok, take a deep breath, everything’s gonna be alright. Hee…heee…heee…head between knees…deep breathing…. gasp….can’t breathe…heart pounding with terrible truth!!! It’s okay, calm, soothe, calm, soothe.  Serenity Nowwwww!! Haaa!!  It’s funny when you go through life without noticing a certain pattern and then…

  • The Power of Makeup (I Wield the Powah of the Brush!!)

    This post is for all of you out there who double dip yourselves in Maybelline every single day.  I say to thee, this is for ye…with the bad skin, breakouts, spots, splotchy skin, bags under your eyes, wrinkles, age spots, etc.  I feel your pain and we shall commiserate together. Makeup is crazy.  It really…

  • Humble Cake

    And then in true Angst fashion, you laugh about it and make a joke, because to do otherwise would be….too depressing for words and I’m through that stage.  Acceptance, Grief, Bargaining…Humorous Self-depreciation?   Making fun of thyself…best for thyself.  (This brings Jim Gaffigan to mind when he talks about the gym…. “I want to look at…

  • Failure the Musical!!!! STARRING MEEEE!!!

    AKA:  A Catalog of Woes: The Year in Review I know it’s not necessarily the time of year to be doing a year in review, but I have a need to see all my woes laid out in a humorous way for the enjoyment of the citizens of Interwebs Township.  I want to be your…

  • Facebook is Obnoxious. Here Are Some Rules of Conduct.

    Facebook drives me to drink.  I’m not sure why I keep going back, but for some reason I do.  I was feeling a rant  coming on regarding the ole FB and I thought, well shit, better make that into a ranting blog post to relieve the pressure inside your head.  We don’t want an explosion. …

  • Sexy Canning = Botulism

    Sexy Canning = Botulism

    Mr. VS and I were quite domesticated (like badly behaved pets) this fall and we tried some canning from the bounty of the land, i.e. our garden. BTW…we totally have a farm or something minus any animals except cats – cat farm? Our farm has no name currently but it could be called Poison Ivy…

  • Forget the Lifetime Failure Tally: Look Ahead

    Forget the Lifetime Failure Tally: Look Ahead

    I’ve now officially (you heard it here) been informed, through an article online that I cannot find again (did it really exist??) that I should be looking toward the future and not at the past. Mr. VS also recently told me that millionaires and highly successful people refuse to see failure and instead are always…

  • My Body is a Polluted Bombed Out Wasteland

    My Body is a Polluted Bombed Out Wasteland

    So as you might know, I’ve been on meds (Zoloft for anxiety/panic attacks) for about a year and a half.  Prior to this  med-circus I’m partaking in now, I had been off meds for 3.5 years.  And before that I was on them for about 8 years and prior to that I was medication free…

“Sometimes the darkness makes the light seem brighter.”

Victoria Sawyer

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