VS
Author Victoria Sawyer
Bring Me To Life
New novel coming soon!
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Sexy Canning = Botulism
Mr. VS and I were quite domesticated (like badly behaved pets) this fall and we tried some canning from the bounty of the land, i.e. our garden. BTW…we totally have a farm or something minus any animals except cats – cat farm? Our farm has no name currently but it could be called Poison Ivy…
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Forget the Lifetime Failure Tally: Look Ahead
I’ve now officially (you heard it here) been informed, through an article online that I cannot find again (did it really exist??) that I should be looking toward the future and not at the past. Mr. VS also recently told me that millionaires and highly successful people refuse to see failure and instead are always…
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My Body is a Polluted Bombed Out Wasteland
So as you might know, I’ve been on meds (Zoloft for anxiety/panic attacks) for about a year and a half. Prior to this med-circus I’m partaking in now, I had been off meds for 3.5 years. And before that I was on them for about 8 years and prior to that I was medication free…
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Broken, The Internet Is
So there are some people out there that think they are going to break the internet with their ass. These ‘people’ shall remain nameless since I can’t stand to toot their horn more than it has already been tooted by everyone else on the planet. However, I do have a few things to say on…
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A Case of “the Uglies” with Mincing and Ogling
Yesterday I had a mean case of the uglies. It’s sort of like the “mondays” but it’s the uglies instead. I don’t mean, I was ugly, as in I was horrible to be around or my mood was hideous or anything like that. What I mean is that I felt…hideous, physically. Yes, yesterday I was…
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7 Guidelines for a Kickass Marriage
Marriage can be a hard thing, which is why your choice of mate is pretty essential and the way you interact is key to your happiness. Mr. VS and I do pretty well, considering that he’s probably the MOST normal person on the planet and in addition to weird and crazy, I’m also annoying, sarcastic, ranty and annoying…
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Brown Recluse Rising in Cancer
I like it when my titles are so weird, you’re like…WTF just happened here? MY GOD! WHAT IS THIS? Well, this one is about how I’m a Cancer in the zodiac and according to Mr. VS I am also a recluse which happens to mesh quite nicely with me being a Cancer. Both really tie the…
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Preplanning for Disappointment with Defensive Pessimism
I’ve become so accustomed to disappointment in my life that I’ve actually started pre-planning for disappointment. I’m assuming that almost everyone has disappointments, however I’m sure there are some people who experience more disappointments than others. And I don’t believe that this is always due to the fact that some people have expectations that are unrealistic…
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The Last Option
In honor of Mental Illness Awareness Week…I offer you a short story about suffering from mental illness. Will you take the time to spread the word, to spread acceptance, empathy and compassion? Everyone knows someone who suffers, even if you don’t realize it, for many suffer alone. Are you willing to make it a bit…
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Getting My Muse Stinkin’ Drunk
This might well be my most ill-advised, irresponsible blog post yet. However, it’s not like someone else advised me not to write this. I advised myself that it was wrong, then battled it out in my head and….yeah I won. So here goes nothing!! (afterall, I’ve never let inhibitions get in my way before! Just…
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Writers: Stop Writing and Live
Sometimes writing isn’t writing, sometimes to write you need to stop writing. This just occurred to me as I sat here listening to music and emotion suddenly infected me with a sense of joy, love, clarity. What I realized is that writers need breaks. Sometimes we have to live or our stories will not be…
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Queen For a Day. Or Two. Screw that, Queen Foreva!!
So you’ve heard my woes, here and here, about my meds causing me to suffer the agony of a life without creativity and without…gasp…sleep. Yes, it was hell. I know, the kinds of problems I have…pathetic. You also heard my woes damning anxiety absolutely to hell and back again because it was driving me up…
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DAMN YOU ANXIETY!!
I’m going to apply for a job. Last night I lay awake in bed for hours going over every aspect of the job description that makes me nervous and with every anxious thought, I thought DAMN YOU ANXIETY!! And of course with every thought, I imagined how I can’t handle it, how I’ll crumble, how…
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Adult Temper Tantrums Are Allowed.
I’m throwing the worst temper tantrum ever. Now before you start imagining me kicking and screaming, I need to clue you in on what that means. Worst refers to the fact that this is probably the most pathetic temper tantrum ever recorded because I’m far too lazy to engage in true hysterics. I almost feel…
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This Season of USA is Lit!
These writers on this season of the USA are doing a bang up job keeping us on the edge of our seats! Let’s just hope they’re not like the writers for LOST! Buckle up for some existential rambling DREAD below! (Don’t worry, it’s…
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The Happy Forgotten Place Where Plastic Lives: The Landfill
Remember that place the so-called Landfill? I know you’re like…”What? No? What place? I don’t recall anything like that.” (All said while avoiding eye contact). Well, I’m here to point your attention in the direction of your local landfill, filled not with LAND…
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This is Why We’re All Overweight
I’ve done a little thinking on the topic and I’ve come up with several reason why we’re all overweight and continue to gain the old lbs. The equation looks something like this: unhappiness + depression + meaninglessness + boredom + our modern culture…
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My Endometriosis Story
Having a chronic illness is cool. Having several is even better. It’s especially fun when you think one of them might be gone and then it REARS its ugly head yet again and brings you right back to square one, living Groundhog Day all over again. So let’s talk about my Endometriosis story, which I…
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This Season of USA is Lit!
These writers on this season of the USA are doing a bang up job keeping us on the edge of our seats! Let’s just hope they’re not like the writers for LOST! Buckle up for some existential rambling DREAD below! (Don’t worry, it’s not political.) As an aside – I randomly decided to check out…
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As the Earth Tilts…on its Evil Axis
It’s that time of year again when the earth tries to screw those of us in the northern hemisphere by tilting itself away from the beautiful rays of the benevolent sun. Yes, ladies and gentleman, the hours of day light are getting shorter and we’re getting a hell of a lot colder, fast. Damn you…
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The Happy Forgotten Place Where Plastic Lives: The Landfill
Remember that place the so-called Landfill? I know you’re like…”What? No? What place? I don’t recall anything like that.” (All said while avoiding eye contact). Well, I’m here to point your attention in the direction of your local landfill, filled not with LAND but with plastic and unwanted junk. Remember that place? I know, I…
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Skinny Jeans: Finally, a Reasonable Explanation
For the longest time it’s been very unclear to my why Skinny Jeans are a thing. In fact, I devoted an entire blog post to my musing on the fact that Skinny Jeans do justice to no one and thus are a vast criminal empire where justice doesn’t even exist. But finally, the day has…
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Tears of a Kitten: A Heroic Cat Rescue
Here’s a story for all you cat mothers out there. A story of heroism, kitten crocodile tears, trees, ticks, poison ivy, sneaky cats, darkness and more!! All the elements of a truly epic tale. SO EXCITING!! Several months ago in the early spring, I got home from work late just a little before 8 PM…
Angst Anarchy 