VS
Author Victoria Sawyer
Bring Me To Life
New novel coming soon!
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Sexy Canning = Botulism
Mr. VS and I were quite domesticated (like badly behaved pets) this fall and we tried some canning from the bounty of the land, i.e. our garden. BTW…we totally have a farm or something minus any animals except cats – cat farm? Our farm has no name currently but it could be called Poison Ivy…
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Forget the Lifetime Failure Tally: Look Ahead
I’ve now officially (you heard it here) been informed, through an article online that I cannot find again (did it really exist??) that I should be looking toward the future and not at the past. Mr. VS also recently told me that millionaires and highly successful people refuse to see failure and instead are always…
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My Body is a Polluted Bombed Out Wasteland
So as you might know, I’ve been on meds (Zoloft for anxiety/panic attacks) for about a year and a half. Prior to this med-circus I’m partaking in now, I had been off meds for 3.5 years. And before that I was on them for about 8 years and prior to that I was medication free…
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Broken, The Internet Is
So there are some people out there that think they are going to break the internet with their ass. These ‘people’ shall remain nameless since I can’t stand to toot their horn more than it has already been tooted by everyone else on the planet. However, I do have a few things to say on…
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A Case of “the Uglies” with Mincing and Ogling
Yesterday I had a mean case of the uglies. It’s sort of like the “mondays” but it’s the uglies instead. I don’t mean, I was ugly, as in I was horrible to be around or my mood was hideous or anything like that. What I mean is that I felt…hideous, physically. Yes, yesterday I was…
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7 Guidelines for a Kickass Marriage
Marriage can be a hard thing, which is why your choice of mate is pretty essential and the way you interact is key to your happiness. Mr. VS and I do pretty well, considering that he’s probably the MOST normal person on the planet and in addition to weird and crazy, I’m also annoying, sarcastic, ranty and annoying…
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Brown Recluse Rising in Cancer
I like it when my titles are so weird, you’re like…WTF just happened here? MY GOD! WHAT IS THIS? Well, this one is about how I’m a Cancer in the zodiac and according to Mr. VS I am also a recluse which happens to mesh quite nicely with me being a Cancer. Both really tie the…
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Preplanning for Disappointment with Defensive Pessimism
I’ve become so accustomed to disappointment in my life that I’ve actually started pre-planning for disappointment. I’m assuming that almost everyone has disappointments, however I’m sure there are some people who experience more disappointments than others. And I don’t believe that this is always due to the fact that some people have expectations that are unrealistic…
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Angst (Review)
Amazing review of Angst (seriously what a well written review!) by fellow author S.A. Williams. Thank you! Angst (Review). via Angst (Review).
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A Critique – Identity Crisis or Journey of Self-Discovery?
“Sometimes I get so tired of being critiqued in everything I do. Art and writing. It gets so hard to still actually want to create something. But I guess that comes with the territory, your creativity will always be judged, labeled and critiqued. It’s hard because creativity is close to my heart and getting criticized…
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A Crazy Sexy Cool Snapshot of Me
Let’s be honest with each other right now. This is sort of a secret blog. People in my “real” life don’t know about it. I’m trying however to come out of the writing closet and I recently told one of my cousins about what I’m doing. Sort of. I was vague as all hell, but…
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Heat Drips, Like Fire Across the Skin
I plucked the words, fresh and clean To taste, with the tip of my tongue Fresh fruit, a strawberry A slice of citrus, orange strong Texture smooth, thick cream Sensual Lip to warm soft lip I kiss them into him Saccharine turns to ash Chalky, dry A parched desert Of powdered milk I taste, Charcoal…
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This Season of USA is Lit!
These writers on this season of the USA are doing a bang up job keeping us on the edge of our seats! Let’s just hope they’re not like the writers for LOST! Buckle up for some existential rambling DREAD below! (Don’t worry, it’s…
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The Happy Forgotten Place Where Plastic Lives: The Landfill
Remember that place the so-called Landfill? I know you’re like…”What? No? What place? I don’t recall anything like that.” (All said while avoiding eye contact). Well, I’m here to point your attention in the direction of your local landfill, filled not with LAND…
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This is Why We’re All Overweight
I’ve done a little thinking on the topic and I’ve come up with several reason why we’re all overweight and continue to gain the old lbs. The equation looks something like this: unhappiness + depression + meaninglessness + boredom + our modern culture…
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Black Friday Crusades
Hello All on this lovely Black Friday! I’m here to tell you why Black Friday is the WORST invention EVER!! I feel a little rant coming on. I think it’s pretty funny that we’ve got this holiday where we’re supposed to be loving each other, spending time with family, giving and being thankful and then…
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Nature’s Fail: Exercise
I’m really intent on blaming someone (even if it’s not actually a person) for my problems. My latest conjecture is that it’s nature’s fault that I don’t exercise and I’m going to prove to you (as if I’m writing a geometry proof) that nature is in fact to blame for the fact that I’m lazy…
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I Solved Climate Change and Silenced the Alien Laughter
Yup, you heard it here first, I have, with my puny little brain, solved Climate Change in one fell swoop (what does that mean?). I’m for serious right now (I love saying that). For realz. It’s essentially pretty simple and is called: Working from Home. If I asked it as a question and you said…
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How To Second-Hand Shop Like a Boss
I’m a big second-hand shopper. I love it. It’s like Raiders of the Lost Ark to me. Well…I guess…Raiders of the Lost Closet where you can find one of a kind things without spiders all over your back or huge boulders attempting to crush you. Plus you’ll pay cheap money for cute things and ALSO it’s…
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Satan’s Girlfriend…at the Office
Happy Friday Denizens of Interwebs City! I greet you from Funny Blog Friday’s (#FBF) first ever Blog Hop Party! WHOOP!! We’ve got so much fun stuff for you today including some excellent funny blogs to read while you should be doing other things AND some excellent giveaways to enter and win. Are you jumping excitedly…
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Funny Bloggers Wanted! #FBF
FUNNY BLOGGERS: WE WANT YOU!!! Are you a funny blogger? Do you know a funny blogger? Do you read someone who’s hilarious, sarcastic, inventive, crazy or inspired in their madness? Send them our way!! Or if you’ve self-declared, We want YOU! SEND OUT THE WORRRDDDD!! A few of us bloggers (who have deemed each other…
Angst Anarchy 