VS
Author Victoria Sawyer
Bring Me To Life
New novel coming soon!
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Sexy Canning = Botulism
Mr. VS and I were quite domesticated (like badly behaved pets) this fall and we tried some canning from the bounty of the land, i.e. our garden. BTW…we totally have a farm or something minus any animals except cats – cat farm? Our farm has no name currently but it could be called Poison Ivy…
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Forget the Lifetime Failure Tally: Look Ahead
I’ve now officially (you heard it here) been informed, through an article online that I cannot find again (did it really exist??) that I should be looking toward the future and not at the past. Mr. VS also recently told me that millionaires and highly successful people refuse to see failure and instead are always…
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My Body is a Polluted Bombed Out Wasteland
So as you might know, I’ve been on meds (Zoloft for anxiety/panic attacks) for about a year and a half. Prior to this med-circus I’m partaking in now, I had been off meds for 3.5 years. And before that I was on them for about 8 years and prior to that I was medication free…
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Broken, The Internet Is
So there are some people out there that think they are going to break the internet with their ass. These ‘people’ shall remain nameless since I can’t stand to toot their horn more than it has already been tooted by everyone else on the planet. However, I do have a few things to say on…
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A Case of “the Uglies” with Mincing and Ogling
Yesterday I had a mean case of the uglies. It’s sort of like the “mondays” but it’s the uglies instead. I don’t mean, I was ugly, as in I was horrible to be around or my mood was hideous or anything like that. What I mean is that I felt…hideous, physically. Yes, yesterday I was…
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World Wide Rant on Earth Day
I wrote this a while back, but since today is Earth Day and I feel like indulging in a nice rant at the world, hey why not post? Have you ever felt…helpless? As thought you are one teeny tiny amoeba in a sea of billions? This might be because, gasp, you are actually one out…
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15 Beauty Tips it Took Me Years to Learn
As I’ve aged over the years (yes I’m getting old, damn you time! My arch-nemisis!!) I’ve finally learned a few things (beauty-wise) that I wish I’d known years ago. Often I wonder, was I am idiot before? How did I not figure this out years ago? The answer is that I have no idea, apparently…
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An Exercise in Writing
My blog stats recently have been abysmal. Less than abysmal. Sad. Sorry. Tragic. I realize that I’ve slacked terribly on promotion of any kind and my frenzy of last year has abated like the calm after a hurricane…. and so I am left with…crickets. But you know what? I decided to change my attitude about…
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Much Biting Ensues; And Sibling Torture (Wolfenstein 3D Edition)
So a friend sent me a link to this blog…. Hyperbole and a Half. Allie is freaking awesome and hilarious. I’ve been manically reading all of her posts over the last few days. I’m like…stalking her…but not in a stalkerish-stalkery way. I’m just like…reading the stuff she put out there on the FREE interwebs without…
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If You’re So Smart, You Rig Up My Life!!
I’ve been spending a bit of time thinking about submission. Actually, wait, that’s the wrong word. That sounds a bit too sexual for what I’m trying to get at…the right word is surrender. Now get your mind out of the gutter and join me in the untouchable ether of thoughts, emotions, the ego and of…
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Dammit Write a Blog Post!!
“Dammit write a blog post for gawd’s sake!!!” This is what I’ve been saying to myself for the past 2 weeks. And I have stuff I could write about, but I’ve been refusing to write ANYTHING at all. It’s the holidays afterall and I’ve been super ridic busy and yes, lazy as sin. Santa should…
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New Friends, Anxiety Relief, Creativity Fail and Inspiration Desperation
Coherence be damned! This is gonna be a weird post. I have so many random things going on in my head. I feel like these are the most uninteresting posts to read where someone writes about several things…but unfortunately for you, I’ve got nothing else that’s inspiring me at the moment that would make a…
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This Season of USA is Lit!
These writers on this season of the USA are doing a bang up job keeping us on the edge of our seats! Let’s just hope they’re not like the writers for LOST! Buckle up for some existential rambling DREAD below! (Don’t worry, it’s…
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The Happy Forgotten Place Where Plastic Lives: The Landfill
Remember that place the so-called Landfill? I know you’re like…”What? No? What place? I don’t recall anything like that.” (All said while avoiding eye contact). Well, I’m here to point your attention in the direction of your local landfill, filled not with LAND…
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This is Why We’re All Overweight
I’ve done a little thinking on the topic and I’ve come up with several reason why we’re all overweight and continue to gain the old lbs. The equation looks something like this: unhappiness + depression + meaninglessness + boredom + our modern culture…
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Welcome to my Unconscious Mind: 23 Weird-Ass Dreams
While I was enjoying a nice long vacation (are you jealous?! HAHA!! STOP…HOLD THAT THOUGHT: this is an old post and now there’s no longer cause for jealousy because there are 5 day work weeks stretching out into infinity) ANYWAY, I was noticing that I have a lot of weird-ass dreams. In particular it came…
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2 Kitten Power
There are 2 kinds of men in the world, those that want to go out of their way to help women lift heavy objects and those that feel women are as strong as men and can help themselves. Guess which kind of man Mr. VS happens to be? That’s right, he’s the kind that believes…
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A Mister Mister Holiday Tragedy
When I walked in the door the other day after work, Mr. VS was grooving around the kitchen while listening to Mister Mister and simultaneously baking chocolate chip cookies. He has a Mister Mister record on vinyl. It was blasting in all its 80’s glory. It was embarrassing. But then I noticed the huge bottles of Jameson…
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Myspace to My Place ~ a love story
Today I’m going to bring you guys back in time! (BACK IN TIMEEEE!!) via a sweet time machine DeLorean so you can witness how Mr. VS and I met. Yes, it was online and yes we had a blind date (sorta) and yes I was afraid that Mr. VS was a murderer. Before we jump into…
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My Waste Toner Cartridge Needs Replacement
When I say my waste toner cartridge needs to be replaced, what I really mean is that there is waste that needs eliminating. And what I mean by that is that my body seems to need to eliminate waste all the freaking time and I’m over it. Let’s just get over the ew factor here…
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An Awkward Encounter: BFF Edition
Have you ever had a really awkward encounter with someone you’re quite close to? Have you ever seen someone “out of context” and it made your brain feel all funny and mushy and you couldn’t speak like an edu-macated homo-sapien? An occurrence like this happened to me just the other day with my friend Annie…
Angst Anarchy 