VS
Author Victoria Sawyer


Bring Me To Life
New novel coming soon!
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Sexy Canning = Botulism
Mr. VS and I were quite domesticated (like badly behaved pets) this fall and we tried some canning from the bounty of the land, i.e. our garden. BTW…we totally have a farm or something minus any animals except cats – cat farm? Our farm has no name currently but it could be called Poison Ivy…
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Forget the Lifetime Failure Tally: Look Ahead
I’ve now officially (you heard it here) been informed, through an article online that I cannot find again (did it really exist??) that I should be looking toward the future and not at the past. Mr. VS also recently told me that millionaires and highly successful people refuse to see failure and instead are always…
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My Body is a Polluted Bombed Out Wasteland
So as you might know, I’ve been on meds (Zoloft for anxiety/panic attacks) for about a year and a half. Prior to this med-circus I’m partaking in now, I had been off meds for 3.5 years. And before that I was on them for about 8 years and prior to that I was medication free…
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Broken, The Internet Is
So there are some people out there that think they are going to break the internet with their ass. These ‘people’ shall remain nameless since I can’t stand to toot their horn more than it has already been tooted by everyone else on the planet. However, I do have a few things to say on…
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A Case of “the Uglies” with Mincing and Ogling
Yesterday I had a mean case of the uglies. It’s sort of like the “mondays” but it’s the uglies instead. I don’t mean, I was ugly, as in I was horrible to be around or my mood was hideous or anything like that. What I mean is that I felt…hideous, physically. Yes, yesterday I was…
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The Power of Makeup (I Wield the Powah of the Brush!!)
This post is for all of you out there who double dip yourselves in Maybelline every single day. I say to thee, this is for ye…with the bad skin, breakouts, spots, splotchy skin, bags under your eyes, wrinkles, age spots, etc. I feel your pain and we shall commiserate together. Makeup is crazy. It really…
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Humble Cake
And then in true Angst fashion, you laugh about it and make a joke, because to do otherwise would be….too depressing for words and I’m through that stage. Acceptance, Grief, Bargaining…Humorous Self-depreciation? Making fun of thyself…best for thyself. (This brings Jim Gaffigan to mind when he talks about the gym…. “I want to look at…
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Something Stupid
You know what’s stupid? The fact that I have to drive to work every single day. It’s goddamned ridiculous that every day, I drive 45 minutes to work and 45 minutes home. EVERY DAY!! The same damn commute, wasting the same amount of gas. And….in the same traffic everyday too with the same people! Humanity…
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I Made Words: Anarchy!!
Anarchy, Anarchy, Government Grammar is evil!!! I don’t know if you know, but I’m an English major with an actual BA (Bad Ass)degree in English. Does that mean that I am certified to speak English you ask? Don’t be an asshole! (I am certified for that, BTW, but it’s not the only thing we English…
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The Importance of Voice in Non-Fiction
This is a guest blog post from Nickolas Baron from Grammarly (a free proofreading tool for writers). It’s his take on the importance of voice and trust me, I agree! Voice is incredibly important, no matter what kind of writing you’re attempting. An interesting narrator will get you everywhere! Read on for tips on writing…
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What Kind of Strange Godforsaken Place is This?
So, if you’re new to this site, like an intrepid (love this word) space traveler who has stumbled upon a strange and clearly godforsaken (also love this word) alien world, you might begin to ask yourself, what the hell kind of place is this? What does it mean! By god, Captain Kirk, where are we???!!! …
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This Season of USA is Lit!
These writers on this season of the USA are doing a bang up job keeping us on the edge of our seats! Let’s just hope they’re not like the writers for LOST! Buckle up for some existential rambling DREAD below! (Don’t worry, it’s…
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The Happy Forgotten Place Where Plastic Lives: The Landfill
Remember that place the so-called Landfill? I know you’re like…”What? No? What place? I don’t recall anything like that.” (All said while avoiding eye contact). Well, I’m here to point your attention in the direction of your local landfill, filled not with LAND…
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This is Why We’re All Overweight
I’ve done a little thinking on the topic and I’ve come up with several reason why we’re all overweight and continue to gain the old lbs. The equation looks something like this: unhappiness + depression + meaninglessness + boredom + our modern culture…
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Your Viewing Pleasure – Guy on a Buffalo
Your Viewing Pleasure is where I share my favorite YouTube vids. This one is no exception. Apparently there’s this old movie about a guy riding on a buffalo and some genius decided to add a song track on top of the video. What emerges is classic. One day…the guy on the buffalo was riding around…
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Braggadocious! Introducing: The Blog Brag
Has it ever occurred to you how braggy songs can be? In particular hip hop songs are pretty damn braggy. It makes me laugh cause when you hear a braggy, pompous, I’m awesome, Eat my #@$% song you’re all pumped up and like…HELL YEA!!! PREACH!! You da Man! And you don’t mind the bragging at…
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Your Viewing Pleasure – Leslie Hall- Body Rolls
Mr. VS makes fun of me for liking this, however even he had this song stuck in his head after I forced him to view it…. I’ve even been viewing this in the morning to start my day off right. For some reason I find this song to be motivating. It reminds me of Napoleon…
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A Slip and Fall on Snow and Ice
Sometimes I can be really graceful, much like a figure skater floating and gliding over the ice in a blowy sea green monstrosity. Can you imagine it now, as I ran to my car on a rainy night that was unfortunately hiding nasty tricksy invisible ice? It was a glory to be seen! The judges…





