VS
Author Victoria Sawyer
Bring Me To Life
New novel coming soon!
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Sexy Canning = Botulism
Mr. VS and I were quite domesticated (like badly behaved pets) this fall and we tried some canning from the bounty of the land, i.e. our garden. BTW…we totally have a farm or something minus any animals except cats – cat farm? Our farm has no name currently but it could be called Poison Ivy…
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Forget the Lifetime Failure Tally: Look Ahead
I’ve now officially (you heard it here) been informed, through an article online that I cannot find again (did it really exist??) that I should be looking toward the future and not at the past. Mr. VS also recently told me that millionaires and highly successful people refuse to see failure and instead are always…
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My Body is a Polluted Bombed Out Wasteland
So as you might know, I’ve been on meds (Zoloft for anxiety/panic attacks) for about a year and a half. Prior to this med-circus I’m partaking in now, I had been off meds for 3.5 years. And before that I was on them for about 8 years and prior to that I was medication free…
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Broken, The Internet Is
So there are some people out there that think they are going to break the internet with their ass. These ‘people’ shall remain nameless since I can’t stand to toot their horn more than it has already been tooted by everyone else on the planet. However, I do have a few things to say on…
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A Case of “the Uglies” with Mincing and Ogling
Yesterday I had a mean case of the uglies. It’s sort of like the “mondays” but it’s the uglies instead. I don’t mean, I was ugly, as in I was horrible to be around or my mood was hideous or anything like that. What I mean is that I felt…hideous, physically. Yes, yesterday I was…
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END 8 HOUR WORK DAYS! START A REVOLUTION!!
Have you ever felt trapped in your life? Have you ever felt like you don’t have enough time? Do you neglect taking care of yourself because you feel you don’t have enough time in the day to eat correctly or exercise? Do you feel drained of energy? Do you feel like you are wasting your…
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Just FYI – Submarines
FYI – Submarines Just an FYI that Mr. VS might have something to do with submarines existing in the world. I just want to make that clear. Also over the weekend while we were camping (more on that later) and were swimming in the lake, I climbed on Mr. VS’s back and said loudly…..DIVE DIVE…
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Sanctioning Cat Fights: Bitey and the Gentleman
My husband claims that I am promoting cat fights. And not just promoting, but organizing, advertising and preparing the combatants. He is wrong, of course. I’m doing nothing of the sort, because animal fights are inhumane. (weird how human is a part of the word inhumane but it can apply to many species?? We are…
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Like Me, Oh Please Like Me!
Ok we’re getting a little desperate around these parts lately in the “tone” of our posts. Note to self, stop being disgusting! haha. I kid! I want you guys to like my new Facebook page! I need 30 likes before I can pick my own url etc, so get over there and help a sister…
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Winner! And My V-Day Poem Explained!
So, amazingly, somehow, don’t ask me how, the winner of my raffle is Jocelyn Dex! I swear to you guys on everything I hold dear that I didn’t rig this thing! I just hit the button for Rafflecopter to let me know who the winner was and her name literally popped up. So, congrats Jocelyn! …
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Imagine a Sexy Raging Frat Party
Sexy, scandalous and…crazy. Let me take you on a journey in your imagination: Imagine a raging Halloween party at a dirty frat. Imagine a small college party at an apartment just off campus, smoke billowing through the air from a glass pipe as you inhale and exhale, coughing, suddenly lightheaded and…free. Imagine playing asshole with…
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From the Business End of a Loaded Handgun
Hello All, in honor of my book being available for purchase today on Amazon, here, I wanted to share this serious post about Suicide as this is one of the themes that is dealt with in my novel. Now whatever you do, do not look up suicide on google images like I just did, there…
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I’m Just a Day Away!
Hi all, just a quick update. I’m really excited because I’m very close to publishing my novel. I’m doing a final reading now to catch any last formatting, grammatical or other errors and then I’m uploading my novel! I can’t believe I’ve come this far. Stay tuned and I’ll let you know when it’s finally…
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Black Friday Crusades
Hello All on this lovely Black Friday! I’m here to tell you why Black Friday is the WORST invention EVER!! I feel a little rant coming on. I think it’s pretty funny that we’ve got this holiday where we’re supposed to be loving…
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Nature’s Fail: Exercise
I’m really intent on blaming someone (even if it’s not actually a person) for my problems. My latest conjecture is that it’s nature’s fault that I don’t exercise and I’m going to prove to you (as if I’m writing a geometry proof) that…
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Complain-a-thon: Traffic
I don’t know why, but when I’m driving is when I seem to find things annoying and ridiculous and stupid. In particular, driving makes me hate humanity. That’s normal, right? Here’s a list of things that I think are stupid (mostly because it…
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My Endometriosis Story
Having a chronic illness is cool. Having several is even better. It’s especially fun when you think one of them might be gone and then it REARS its ugly head yet again and brings you right back to square one, living Groundhog Day all over again. So let’s talk about my Endometriosis story, which I…
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This Season of USA is Lit!
These writers on this season of the USA are doing a bang up job keeping us on the edge of our seats! Let’s just hope they’re not like the writers for LOST! Buckle up for some existential rambling DREAD below! (Don’t worry, it’s not political.) As an aside – I randomly decided to check out…
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As the Earth Tilts…on its Evil Axis
It’s that time of year again when the earth tries to screw those of us in the northern hemisphere by tilting itself away from the beautiful rays of the benevolent sun. Yes, ladies and gentleman, the hours of day light are getting shorter and we’re getting a hell of a lot colder, fast. Damn you…
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The Happy Forgotten Place Where Plastic Lives: The Landfill
Remember that place the so-called Landfill? I know you’re like…”What? No? What place? I don’t recall anything like that.” (All said while avoiding eye contact). Well, I’m here to point your attention in the direction of your local landfill, filled not with LAND but with plastic and unwanted junk. Remember that place? I know, I…
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Skinny Jeans: Finally, a Reasonable Explanation
For the longest time it’s been very unclear to my why Skinny Jeans are a thing. In fact, I devoted an entire blog post to my musing on the fact that Skinny Jeans do justice to no one and thus are a vast criminal empire where justice doesn’t even exist. But finally, the day has…
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Tears of a Kitten: A Heroic Cat Rescue
Here’s a story for all you cat mothers out there. A story of heroism, kitten crocodile tears, trees, ticks, poison ivy, sneaky cats, darkness and more!! All the elements of a truly epic tale. SO EXCITING!! Several months ago in the early spring, I got home from work late just a little before 8 PM…
Angst Anarchy 