VS

Author Victoria Sawyer

Bring Me To Life

New novel coming soon!

  • Sexy Canning = Botulism

    Sexy Canning = Botulism

    Mr. VS and I were quite domesticated (like badly behaved pets) this fall and we tried some canning from the bounty of the land, i.e. our garden. BTW…we totally have a farm or something minus any animals except cats – cat farm? Our farm has no name currently but it could be called Poison Ivy…

  • Forget the Lifetime Failure Tally: Look Ahead

    Forget the Lifetime Failure Tally: Look Ahead

    I’ve now officially (you heard it here) been informed, through an article online that I cannot find again (did it really exist??) that I should be looking toward the future and not at the past. Mr. VS also recently told me that millionaires and highly successful people refuse to see failure and instead are always…

  • My Body is a Polluted Bombed Out Wasteland

    My Body is a Polluted Bombed Out Wasteland

    So as you might know, I’ve been on meds (Zoloft for anxiety/panic attacks) for about a year and a half.  Prior to this  med-circus I’m partaking in now, I had been off meds for 3.5 years.  And before that I was on them for about 8 years and prior to that I was medication free…

  • Broken, The Internet Is

    Broken, The Internet Is

    So there are some people out there that think they are going to break the internet with their ass. These ‘people’ shall remain nameless since I can’t stand to toot their horn more than it has already been tooted by everyone else on the planet. However, I do have a few things to say on…

  • A Case of “the Uglies” with Mincing and Ogling

    A Case of “the Uglies” with Mincing and Ogling

    Yesterday I had a mean case of the uglies.  It’s sort of like the “mondays” but it’s the uglies instead.  I don’t mean, I was ugly, as in I was horrible to be around or my mood was hideous or anything like that.  What I mean is that I felt…hideous, physically.  Yes,  yesterday I was…

  • Weight Gain Extravaganza

    Weight Gain Extravaganza

    Recently I came to the conclusion that we have so many feelings and emotions and thoughts and self-flagellation and judging of others involved in our weight.  I know, I’m a genius for realizing this super obvious emotional response.  However, the thought that occurred to me is that we ALL do it without even realizing we’re…

  • Studying the Male of the Species and Boy Eyes

    Do you live with a man?  Do you know one?  Have you ever interacted with the male of the species?  You know…those ones that aren’t female?  Yeah, those guys.  You’ve seen them around, I’m sure.  They’re everywhere.  And yes, if you’re female,  you’ve probably been ogled by these so-called “males” of the species.  You know…

  • The-Fraudulent-Not-Confident-Blogger

    Ummm…so….social media and blogging is actually kind of hard to keep up on.  Does anyone else hate posting to Facebook?  It’s like whenever you post there are crickets chirping loudly in the background.  NO ONE is there.  Or if they are, they are not hearing you despite your repeated screaming of the same shit again…

  • Raw Emotion – Publishing Angst

    So, I’m really excited right now.  I turned my novel over to my editor for the second time and I feel like I’m getting really close now.  She thinks she’ll have it for 2 weeks at the most and then it’ll come back to me for final, final polishing edits and then, gulp, formatting for…

  • The Breakup – Exposed

    This is another one of my “scenes” or slices of life.  It’s not related to my novel and is fiction.  I think the idea came to me because I feel like there are so many girls out there who have no self-confidence, who have no self-worth and no matter how hard they try they can’t…

  • This Season of USA is Lit!

    This Season of USA is Lit!

    These writers on this season of the USA are doing a bang up job keeping us on the edge of our seats! Let’s just hope they’re not like the writers for LOST! Buckle up for some existential rambling DREAD below! (Don’t worry, it’s…

  • The Happy Forgotten Place Where Plastic Lives: The Landfill

    The Happy Forgotten Place Where Plastic Lives: The Landfill

    Remember that place the so-called Landfill? I know you’re like…”What? No? What place? I don’t recall anything like that.” (All said while avoiding eye contact). Well, I’m here to point your attention in the direction of your local landfill, filled not with LAND…

  • This is Why We’re All Overweight

    This is Why We’re All Overweight

    I’ve done a little thinking on the topic and I’ve come up with several reason why we’re all overweight and continue to gain the old lbs. The equation looks something like this: unhappiness + depression + meaninglessness + boredom + our modern culture…

  • Friday Obsession-Thoughts: Gifs and Funny Blogs

    YEAH It’s the FRIZZ!!  How happy are you?  The Frizz is the best day of the work week.  And when it hits end-o’-work o’clock then it’s the best day/time of the weekend too!  All in all, a sweet day. This week I’m obsessed with 2 things.  Gifs and Funny blogs.  For example, here’s one blog…

  • Tandem Sleeping

    Tandem Sleeping

    When I write Tandem Sleeping it makes me laugh.  It reminds me of slalom or something or for some reason bob sledding.  Why?  Why? Anyway, I want to write about sleeping with someone else.  It’s weird.  In particular I’m going to tell you about sleeping with Mr. VS.  Doesn’t that sound like fun and/or inappropriate?  …

  • A New Addiction Cometh: Coffee

    A New Addiction Cometh: Coffee

    I’ve recently added a new addiction to my collection: coffee. (I do collect addictions even though I make claim to NOT having an addictive personality. FYI, the things that I claim are always strongly suspect.)  Regarding Coffee, I never thought this addiction would happen to me. I thought I was immune to Coffee’s charms.  But…

  • I Am Full of Bullshit: My Best Quotes on Angst

    I Am Full of Bullshit: My Best Quotes on Angst

    I’ve decided to collect together for your enjoyment and LOL’ing (still I shudder) an assortment of crazy, strange and yes, awesome quotes from my favorite Angst posts.  I can and do amuse myself all the time (perhaps I’m the only one?).  So…brace yourselves for genius (I’m so full of shit I can’t even let that…

  • Optimizing SEO for Maximum Angst

    In learning recently about SEO, I’ve realized that I do a terrible job of catering to my old friend Google.  Or Bing or Chrome or Jeeves or Yahoo or whomever rules my online searchability status (they treat me like a peasant, when clearly I’m deserving of royalty status.  I am QUEEN!).  Honestly, I don’t like…

  • Uncanned Laughter: Post O’ the Day

    I’m responding to a Post O’ the Day!  Here’s the prompt:  “A misused word, a misremembered song lyric, a cream pie that just happened to be there: tell us about a time you (or someone else) said or did something unintentionally funny. ” When I went camping a year ago with friends, we had the…

  • Sexy Canning = Botulism

    Sexy Canning = Botulism

    Mr. VS and I were quite domesticated (like badly behaved pets) this fall and we tried some canning from the bounty of the land, i.e. our garden. BTW…we totally have a farm or something minus any animals except cats – cat farm? Our farm has no name currently but it could be called Poison Ivy…

  • Forget the Lifetime Failure Tally: Look Ahead

    Forget the Lifetime Failure Tally: Look Ahead

    I’ve now officially (you heard it here) been informed, through an article online that I cannot find again (did it really exist??) that I should be looking toward the future and not at the past. Mr. VS also recently told me that millionaires and highly successful people refuse to see failure and instead are always…

  • My Body is a Polluted Bombed Out Wasteland

    My Body is a Polluted Bombed Out Wasteland

    So as you might know, I’ve been on meds (Zoloft for anxiety/panic attacks) for about a year and a half.  Prior to this  med-circus I’m partaking in now, I had been off meds for 3.5 years.  And before that I was on them for about 8 years and prior to that I was medication free…

“Sometimes the darkness makes the light seem brighter.”

Victoria Sawyer

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