VS
Author Victoria Sawyer
Bring Me To Life
New novel coming soon!
-
Sexy Canning = Botulism
Mr. VS and I were quite domesticated (like badly behaved pets) this fall and we tried some canning from the bounty of the land, i.e. our garden. BTW…we totally have a farm or something minus any animals except cats – cat farm? Our farm has no name currently but it could be called Poison Ivy…
-
Forget the Lifetime Failure Tally: Look Ahead
I’ve now officially (you heard it here) been informed, through an article online that I cannot find again (did it really exist??) that I should be looking toward the future and not at the past. Mr. VS also recently told me that millionaires and highly successful people refuse to see failure and instead are always…
-
My Body is a Polluted Bombed Out Wasteland
So as you might know, I’ve been on meds (Zoloft for anxiety/panic attacks) for about a year and a half. Prior to this med-circus I’m partaking in now, I had been off meds for 3.5 years. And before that I was on them for about 8 years and prior to that I was medication free…
-
Broken, The Internet Is
So there are some people out there that think they are going to break the internet with their ass. These ‘people’ shall remain nameless since I can’t stand to toot their horn more than it has already been tooted by everyone else on the planet. However, I do have a few things to say on…
-
A Case of “the Uglies” with Mincing and Ogling
Yesterday I had a mean case of the uglies. It’s sort of like the “mondays” but it’s the uglies instead. I don’t mean, I was ugly, as in I was horrible to be around or my mood was hideous or anything like that. What I mean is that I felt…hideous, physically. Yes, yesterday I was…
-
Friday Mad Libs
From now on, or whenever the hell I remember, I’m going to present you with some Mad Libs. Remember Mad Libs? That shit was great. I remember being in my bedroom on the corded phone with my best friend (it was the 90’s! yea!!), filling out Mad Libs and laughing uproariously. Of course we’d make…
-
Profanity: A Pretty Word for…
F-Bombs, Shit-words, Bastards, Bitches, Whores (nope, not a swear), Assholes, Etc. Profanity just sounds so classy. Here’s what I want to know: What the HELL is wrong with profanity? Why can’t I drop an F-bomb on your ass(hole) now and then you bastard? Hmmm? Do tell? It’s not like I’m trying to be mean to…
-
TFC’s 1st Anniversary Blog-Off Winner!
Originally posted on Too Funny Chicks: Oh, hey Ellen! Chick E and I would love to meet up with you and Chick P. What’s Up, O? Yeah, Chick E and I would love to meet for a drink! ? August 29th was TooFunnyChicks.com 1 Year Anniversary! Yay Us! We’ve come a long way and…
-
A Smexy Guest Post!
I turn around as if I didn’t just touch him with my eyes, as if I didn’t get intimate with him and I dance. I dance as if he’s watching, which I know he is and I let the alcohol set me free within the music. I feel it, inside me, running along my nerves,…
-
Let’s Play Blog Roulette!
So I was feeling frustrated. I wanted to find great writing in Blog Land. I wanted to stumble upon something amazing! And I kept searching through the reader and there was nothing that was jumping out at me. Nothing! So then I thought, I wish there was a blog that featured Guest Blogging opportunities ALL…
-
Blank Page, White and Clean
Blank sheet. The paper white and clean, without smudge or mark, without thought or emotion. I want to dirty it. I want to fuel it with my dark side and then light it on fire. Watch it burn and flame into a twisting ember that turns to ash. I want to extinguish it, put out…
-
Addicted
You guys, I have a confession to make: The girl who stands before you, or wait…sits before you…types before you, the girl clacking on the keyboard really fast, no still not right, the girl who is hiding behind the computer monitor, yeah her, she is a blog addict. This is my brain on blog. It’s…
-
Multifaceted
It hurts This duality Soul and body Mind and spirit Do you know who I am? I am many, I am one Have you judged me yet? I am the dark and the light Polarizing, I am opposites Do you know my struggles? My fight, my bravery, The fear, the euphoria Do you feel my…
-
Those Notes, a Single Voice, Speaking
I want to get to the place where inspiration flows. It grabs my hand, pulling it across the page as fast as my thoughts can fly and I don’t want to stop it. I want to let it run free and wild like a child introduced to a field, running under the blue sky, the…
-
This Season of USA is Lit!
These writers on this season of the USA are doing a bang up job keeping us on the edge of our seats! Let’s just hope they’re not like the writers for LOST! Buckle up for some existential rambling DREAD below! (Don’t worry, it’s…
-
The Happy Forgotten Place Where Plastic Lives: The Landfill
Remember that place the so-called Landfill? I know you’re like…”What? No? What place? I don’t recall anything like that.” (All said while avoiding eye contact). Well, I’m here to point your attention in the direction of your local landfill, filled not with LAND…
-
This is Why We’re All Overweight
I’ve done a little thinking on the topic and I’ve come up with several reason why we’re all overweight and continue to gain the old lbs. The equation looks something like this: unhappiness + depression + meaninglessness + boredom + our modern culture…
-
Black Friday Crusades
Hello All on this lovely Black Friday! I’m here to tell you why Black Friday is the WORST invention EVER!! I feel a little rant coming on. I think it’s pretty funny that we’ve got this holiday where we’re supposed to be loving each other, spending time with family, giving and being thankful and then…
-
Nature’s Fail: Exercise
I’m really intent on blaming someone (even if it’s not actually a person) for my problems. My latest conjecture is that it’s nature’s fault that I don’t exercise and I’m going to prove to you (as if I’m writing a geometry proof) that nature is in fact to blame for the fact that I’m lazy…
-
I Solved Climate Change and Silenced the Alien Laughter
Yup, you heard it here first, I have, with my puny little brain, solved Climate Change in one fell swoop (what does that mean?). I’m for serious right now (I love saying that). For realz. It’s essentially pretty simple and is called: Working from Home. If I asked it as a question and you said…
-
How To Second-Hand Shop Like a Boss
I’m a big second-hand shopper. I love it. It’s like Raiders of the Lost Ark to me. Well…I guess…Raiders of the Lost Closet where you can find one of a kind things without spiders all over your back or huge boulders attempting to crush you. Plus you’ll pay cheap money for cute things and ALSO it’s…
-
Satan’s Girlfriend…at the Office
Happy Friday Denizens of Interwebs City! I greet you from Funny Blog Friday’s (#FBF) first ever Blog Hop Party! WHOOP!! We’ve got so much fun stuff for you today including some excellent funny blogs to read while you should be doing other things AND some excellent giveaways to enter and win. Are you jumping excitedly…
-
Funny Bloggers Wanted! #FBF
FUNNY BLOGGERS: WE WANT YOU!!! Are you a funny blogger? Do you know a funny blogger? Do you read someone who’s hilarious, sarcastic, inventive, crazy or inspired in their madness? Send them our way!! Or if you’ve self-declared, We want YOU! SEND OUT THE WORRRDDDD!! A few of us bloggers (who have deemed each other…
Angst Anarchy 