VS
Author Victoria Sawyer


Bring Me To Life
New novel coming soon!
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Sexy Canning = Botulism
Mr. VS and I were quite domesticated (like badly behaved pets) this fall and we tried some canning from the bounty of the land, i.e. our garden. BTW…we totally have a farm or something minus any animals except cats – cat farm? Our farm has no name currently but it could be called Poison Ivy…
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Forget the Lifetime Failure Tally: Look Ahead
I’ve now officially (you heard it here) been informed, through an article online that I cannot find again (did it really exist??) that I should be looking toward the future and not at the past. Mr. VS also recently told me that millionaires and highly successful people refuse to see failure and instead are always…
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My Body is a Polluted Bombed Out Wasteland
So as you might know, I’ve been on meds (Zoloft for anxiety/panic attacks) for about a year and a half. Prior to this med-circus I’m partaking in now, I had been off meds for 3.5 years. And before that I was on them for about 8 years and prior to that I was medication free…
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Broken, The Internet Is
So there are some people out there that think they are going to break the internet with their ass. These ‘people’ shall remain nameless since I can’t stand to toot their horn more than it has already been tooted by everyone else on the planet. However, I do have a few things to say on…
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A Case of “the Uglies” with Mincing and Ogling
Yesterday I had a mean case of the uglies. It’s sort of like the “mondays” but it’s the uglies instead. I don’t mean, I was ugly, as in I was horrible to be around or my mood was hideous or anything like that. What I mean is that I felt…hideous, physically. Yes, yesterday I was…
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Complain-a-thon: Traffic
I don’t know why, but when I’m driving is when I seem to find things annoying and ridiculous and stupid. In particular, driving makes me hate humanity. That’s normal, right? Here’s a list of things that I think are stupid (mostly because it makes me have anxiety about my MPG. Seriously I have anxiety/irritation about…
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My Brain is Technology
I think my Brain might be hiding things from me. In fact, I know my brain is hiding shit. Have you ever really given your brain a thought? Brains are weird-ass shit. I started thinking about my brain in the middle of the night the other night, I know, extremely random, and what I was…
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The Term “Plus-Size” Pisses Me Off.
The other day I was reading this article on Yahoo: How Shopping with a Plus-sized Model Made Me Face My Own Body Issues. And I started getting pissed off and fired up about the word Plus Size. WTF kind of word is that? Who invented that shit? To me that’s an offensive term for women…
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Your Exclamation Points are Hurting My Ears!
The other day my ears were acting cray-cray and suddenly everything seemed really really loud. (Damn cold!) Mr. VS was trying to have a normal conversation with me and I had to shush him like 5 times. He was screaming! And then I went to work and everyone there was yelling like a bunch of…
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Insta-Replay for Bloggers, Writers and Artists
I was watching the news this morning and they were doing a recap of high school football and they kept showing instant replays of all the amazing catches and long runs that the high school students were doing at their foose-ball games. There were even hometown heros and VIP’s and whatnot. I thought to myself…it must be pretty snazzy…
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I Am Full of Bullshit: My Best Quotes on Angst
I’ve decided to collect together for your enjoyment and LOL’ing (still I shudder) an assortment of crazy, strange and yes, awesome quotes from my favorite Angst posts. I can and do amuse myself all the time (perhaps I’m the only one?). So…brace yourselves for genius (I’m so full of shit I can’t even let that…
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Something Stupid
You know what’s stupid? The fact that I have to drive to work every single day. It’s goddamned ridiculous that every day, I drive 45 minutes to work and 45 minutes home. EVERY DAY!! The same damn commute, wasting the same amount of…
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Failure the Musical!!!! STARRING MEEEE!!!
AKA: A Catalog of Woes: The Year in Review I know it’s not necessarily the time of year to be doing a year in review, but I have a need to see all my woes laid out in a humorous way for the…
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You Big Gorgeous Sexy Unfathomable Universe You!
The universe is dead sexy. Did you know? I’ve been obsessed with it lately and have been learning a lot about the latest discoveries and theories. So I’m going to walk you through the sexiness and vastness of space in this post. And…
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What Kind of Strange Godforsaken Place is This?
So, if you’re new to this site, like an intrepid (love this word) space traveler who has stumbled upon a strange and clearly godforsaken (also love this word) alien world, you might begin to ask yourself, what the hell kind of place is this? What does it mean! By god, Captain Kirk, where are we???!!! …
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26 Ways Cats Gleefully and Shamelessly Annoy Humans
As much as I love cats, I also realize that they are insane. Much like me. (I’m already turning into a crazy cat lady who wants to talk about her cat ALL the time. It’s like G (Bitey) is my child. Seriously.) So cats in general like to do things that are the complete opposite…
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The Many, Many, Many Things That Bring The Too Funny Chicks Angst
Are you ready for an angst-fest? Wanna get angst-tastic? My pals/gals over at Too Funny Chicks agreed to write a guest blog post for me and decided to share with my readers their “angst” and of course…you’re gonna laugh and you’re gonna nod your head because some of this stuff gives you heart palpitations and…
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Wife Competitions of Which We are Unaware
This title just gets me. It’s like backward. Anyway…don’t get it into your little sick heads that this is about wife swapping or anything so scandalous as all that. Although of course that’s the first place my sick little head went as I wrote this even though I know what I’m going to write about. …
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Decoy Duck
I have a new friend and he’s a decoy duck. He’s old and his black paint is wearing off. He’s sort of cool, if you’re into that kind of thing, although he doesn’t have a fancy paint job or racing stripes. He’s a pretty plain guy and my cat tries to body slam him on…






