VS
Author Victoria Sawyer


Bring Me To Life
New novel coming soon!
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Sexy Canning = Botulism
Mr. VS and I were quite domesticated (like badly behaved pets) this fall and we tried some canning from the bounty of the land, i.e. our garden. BTW…we totally have a farm or something minus any animals except cats – cat farm? Our farm has no name currently but it could be called Poison Ivy…
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Forget the Lifetime Failure Tally: Look Ahead
I’ve now officially (you heard it here) been informed, through an article online that I cannot find again (did it really exist??) that I should be looking toward the future and not at the past. Mr. VS also recently told me that millionaires and highly successful people refuse to see failure and instead are always…
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My Body is a Polluted Bombed Out Wasteland
So as you might know, I’ve been on meds (Zoloft for anxiety/panic attacks) for about a year and a half. Prior to this med-circus I’m partaking in now, I had been off meds for 3.5 years. And before that I was on them for about 8 years and prior to that I was medication free…
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Broken, The Internet Is
So there are some people out there that think they are going to break the internet with their ass. These ‘people’ shall remain nameless since I can’t stand to toot their horn more than it has already been tooted by everyone else on the planet. However, I do have a few things to say on…
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A Case of “the Uglies” with Mincing and Ogling
Yesterday I had a mean case of the uglies. It’s sort of like the “mondays” but it’s the uglies instead. I don’t mean, I was ugly, as in I was horrible to be around or my mood was hideous or anything like that. What I mean is that I felt…hideous, physically. Yes, yesterday I was…
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How To Second-Hand Shop Like a Boss
I’m a big second-hand shopper. I love it. It’s like Raiders of the Lost Ark to me. Well…I guess…Raiders of the Lost Closet where you can find one of a kind things without spiders all over your back or huge boulders attempting to crush you. Plus you’ll pay cheap money for cute things and ALSO it’s…
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Satan’s Girlfriend…at the Office
Happy Friday Denizens of Interwebs City! I greet you from Funny Blog Friday’s (#FBF) first ever Blog Hop Party! WHOOP!! We’ve got so much fun stuff for you today including some excellent funny blogs to read while you should be doing other things AND some excellent giveaways to enter and win. Are you jumping excitedly…
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Funny Bloggers Wanted! #FBF
FUNNY BLOGGERS: WE WANT YOU!!! Are you a funny blogger? Do you know a funny blogger? Do you read someone who’s hilarious, sarcastic, inventive, crazy or inspired in their madness? Send them our way!! Or if you’ve self-declared, We want YOU! SEND OUT THE WORRRDDDD!! A few of us bloggers (who have deemed each other…
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Love It or Hate It: Oh the Controversy!
As I’m moving through my blog tour I’m learning that people definitely have opinions about Angst. Some people love it, others hate it! It’s interesting to me because I never really thought it was that controversial. I mean…I get it’s kinda of depressing and it can be confusing, but I never realized how much it…
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The Way it Was, Back in the Day
I grew up in a religious family. I went to church every single Sunday. I was told not to have sex before marriage, not to drink or party and because of this I hid a lot of what was going on with me from my family as a teenager. They knew about my panic attacks,…
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This Season of USA is Lit!
These writers on this season of the USA are doing a bang up job keeping us on the edge of our seats! Let’s just hope they’re not like the writers for LOST! Buckle up for some existential rambling DREAD below! (Don’t worry, it’s…
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The Happy Forgotten Place Where Plastic Lives: The Landfill
Remember that place the so-called Landfill? I know you’re like…”What? No? What place? I don’t recall anything like that.” (All said while avoiding eye contact). Well, I’m here to point your attention in the direction of your local landfill, filled not with LAND…
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This is Why We’re All Overweight
I’ve done a little thinking on the topic and I’ve come up with several reason why we’re all overweight and continue to gain the old lbs. The equation looks something like this: unhappiness + depression + meaninglessness + boredom + our modern culture…
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Complain-a-thon: Traffic
I don’t know why, but when I’m driving is when I seem to find things annoying and ridiculous and stupid. In particular, driving makes me hate humanity. That’s normal, right? Here’s a list of things that I think are stupid (mostly because it makes me have anxiety about my MPG. Seriously I have anxiety/irritation about…
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A Wooden Anniversary with Hiking
Mr. VS and I just celebrated our “Wooden” Anniversary. For those not in the know, a wooden anniversary is 5 years and Mr. VS and I are enjoying wooden wedded bliss Thus we celebrate. It’s lame because once you get up there in years for anniversaries you get to have silver or gold anniversaries, a…
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Submitting to the Sickness
Per usual I have obtained through no fault of my own (I swear) my typical September Cold. YEEEHAWWW. So very thrilling I can’t even contain myself as I wave my tissue pom-poms in the air with a barely mustered excitement. I don’t know what it is, but as soon as September rolls around I always…
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Friday Mad Libs
From now on, or whenever the hell I remember, I’m going to present you with some Mad Libs. Remember Mad Libs? That shit was great. I remember being in my bedroom on the corded phone with my best friend (it was the 90’s! yea!!), filling out Mad Libs and laughing uproariously. Of course we’d make…







