VS
Author Victoria Sawyer
Bring Me To Life
New novel coming soon!
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Sexy Canning = Botulism
Mr. VS and I were quite domesticated (like badly behaved pets) this fall and we tried some canning from the bounty of the land, i.e. our garden. BTW…we totally have a farm or something minus any animals except cats – cat farm? Our farm has no name currently but it could be called Poison Ivy…
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Forget the Lifetime Failure Tally: Look Ahead
I’ve now officially (you heard it here) been informed, through an article online that I cannot find again (did it really exist??) that I should be looking toward the future and not at the past. Mr. VS also recently told me that millionaires and highly successful people refuse to see failure and instead are always…
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My Body is a Polluted Bombed Out Wasteland
So as you might know, I’ve been on meds (Zoloft for anxiety/panic attacks) for about a year and a half. Prior to this med-circus I’m partaking in now, I had been off meds for 3.5 years. And before that I was on them for about 8 years and prior to that I was medication free…
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Broken, The Internet Is
So there are some people out there that think they are going to break the internet with their ass. These ‘people’ shall remain nameless since I can’t stand to toot their horn more than it has already been tooted by everyone else on the planet. However, I do have a few things to say on…
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A Case of “the Uglies” with Mincing and Ogling
Yesterday I had a mean case of the uglies. It’s sort of like the “mondays” but it’s the uglies instead. I don’t mean, I was ugly, as in I was horrible to be around or my mood was hideous or anything like that. What I mean is that I felt…hideous, physically. Yes, yesterday I was…
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How To Second-Hand Shop Like a Boss
I’m a big second-hand shopper. I love it. It’s like Raiders of the Lost Ark to me. Well…I guess…Raiders of the Lost Closet where you can find one of a kind things without spiders all over your back or huge boulders attempting to crush you. Plus you’ll pay cheap money for cute things and ALSO it’s…
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Satan’s Girlfriend…at the Office
Happy Friday Denizens of Interwebs City! I greet you from Funny Blog Friday’s (#FBF) first ever Blog Hop Party! WHOOP!! We’ve got so much fun stuff for you today including some excellent funny blogs to read while you should be doing other things AND some excellent giveaways to enter and win. Are you jumping excitedly…
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Funny Bloggers Wanted! #FBF
FUNNY BLOGGERS: WE WANT YOU!!! Are you a funny blogger? Do you know a funny blogger? Do you read someone who’s hilarious, sarcastic, inventive, crazy or inspired in their madness? Send them our way!! Or if you’ve self-declared, We want YOU! SEND OUT THE WORRRDDDD!! A few of us bloggers (who have deemed each other…
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I’m Stressing You Out
Occasionally I check Goodreads to see what people think of Angst. I’ll tell you, it’s hard sometimes to see that someone rated your book as 2 stars when you feel like you’ve poured out your heart and soul, exposing your inner feelings and essentially how crazy you are, especially when you’re not sure why they…
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Swim Away into Oblivion
My never ending lament To escape this jail cell A heavy chain hangs about my neck Dragging me down to the depths of the dark sea Pressure against my lungs, collapse Sinking Sinking Struggle, panic, I want out To cut the chains I must breathe But I can’t! I can’t! Sucking in dirty water Choking,…
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What Every Writer Wants
Every writer wants to be heard. Wants their ideas, emotions, worlds to be ingested, inhaled by readers. We want readers to live in our world, the one we created, the one that is us, even if it isn’t. And words, words are my friends. They are how I communicate, they are how I express who…
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Until You See The Holes Cut Out Of Heaven
I awoke to the sounds of the alarm Blaring, screaming, Wake up, get up, get your lazy ass up Immediately, start the day, start it up Rev it high and then change gears Smoothly first to second, The engine bucks and you jerk Forward The hot water gasps and sputters Time to start the race…
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As You Slowly Light Your Never Ending Cigarette
I’ve got a few posts in my head right now and even a few drafts here on WordPress, but for some reason I can’t seem to decide what to write. Definitely content creation FAIL. I’m thinking about writing styles, about Pinterest, about my book, about self-criticism, about so many different things. Even about poems and…
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This Season of USA is Lit!
These writers on this season of the USA are doing a bang up job keeping us on the edge of our seats! Let’s just hope they’re not like the writers for LOST! Buckle up for some existential rambling DREAD below! (Don’t worry, it’s…
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The Happy Forgotten Place Where Plastic Lives: The Landfill
Remember that place the so-called Landfill? I know you’re like…”What? No? What place? I don’t recall anything like that.” (All said while avoiding eye contact). Well, I’m here to point your attention in the direction of your local landfill, filled not with LAND…
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This is Why We’re All Overweight
I’ve done a little thinking on the topic and I’ve come up with several reason why we’re all overweight and continue to gain the old lbs. The equation looks something like this: unhappiness + depression + meaninglessness + boredom + our modern culture…
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I Made Words: Anarchy!!
Anarchy, Anarchy, Government Grammar is evil!!! I don’t know if you know, but I’m an English major with an actual BA (Bad Ass)degree in English. Does that mean that I am certified to speak English you ask? Don’t be an asshole! (I am certified for that, BTW, but it’s not the only thing we English…
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Ahhh!!! Realization: I’m a Sci-Fi Nerd!!!
Oh God, oh God, oh God. Oh GOD!!!! PANIC!!! OH GAWD SAVE MEEEE!! Ok, take a deep breath, everything’s gonna be alright. Hee…heee…heee…head between knees…deep breathing…. gasp….can’t breathe…heart pounding with terrible truth!!! It’s okay, calm, soothe, calm, soothe. Serenity Nowwwww!! Haaa!! It’s funny when you go through life without noticing a certain pattern and then…
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The Power of Makeup (I Wield the Powah of the Brush!!)
This post is for all of you out there who double dip yourselves in Maybelline every single day. I say to thee, this is for ye…with the bad skin, breakouts, spots, splotchy skin, bags under your eyes, wrinkles, age spots, etc. I feel your pain and we shall commiserate together. Makeup is crazy. It really…
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Humble Cake
And then in true Angst fashion, you laugh about it and make a joke, because to do otherwise would be….too depressing for words and I’m through that stage. Acceptance, Grief, Bargaining…Humorous Self-depreciation? Making fun of thyself…best for thyself. (This brings Jim Gaffigan to mind when he talks about the gym…. “I want to look at…
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Failure the Musical!!!! STARRING MEEEE!!!
AKA: A Catalog of Woes: The Year in Review I know it’s not necessarily the time of year to be doing a year in review, but I have a need to see all my woes laid out in a humorous way for the enjoyment of the citizens of Interwebs Township. I want to be your…
Angst Anarchy 