VS
Author Victoria Sawyer


Bring Me To Life
New novel coming soon!
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Sexy Canning = Botulism
Mr. VS and I were quite domesticated (like badly behaved pets) this fall and we tried some canning from the bounty of the land, i.e. our garden. BTW…we totally have a farm or something minus any animals except cats – cat farm? Our farm has no name currently but it could be called Poison Ivy…
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Forget the Lifetime Failure Tally: Look Ahead
I’ve now officially (you heard it here) been informed, through an article online that I cannot find again (did it really exist??) that I should be looking toward the future and not at the past. Mr. VS also recently told me that millionaires and highly successful people refuse to see failure and instead are always…
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My Body is a Polluted Bombed Out Wasteland
So as you might know, I’ve been on meds (Zoloft for anxiety/panic attacks) for about a year and a half. Prior to this med-circus I’m partaking in now, I had been off meds for 3.5 years. And before that I was on them for about 8 years and prior to that I was medication free…
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Broken, The Internet Is
So there are some people out there that think they are going to break the internet with their ass. These ‘people’ shall remain nameless since I can’t stand to toot their horn more than it has already been tooted by everyone else on the planet. However, I do have a few things to say on…
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A Case of “the Uglies” with Mincing and Ogling
Yesterday I had a mean case of the uglies. It’s sort of like the “mondays” but it’s the uglies instead. I don’t mean, I was ugly, as in I was horrible to be around or my mood was hideous or anything like that. What I mean is that I felt…hideous, physically. Yes, yesterday I was…
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How To Second-Hand Shop Like a Boss
I’m a big second-hand shopper. I love it. It’s like Raiders of the Lost Ark to me. Well…I guess…Raiders of the Lost Closet where you can find one of a kind things without spiders all over your back or huge boulders attempting to crush you. Plus you’ll pay cheap money for cute things and ALSO it’s…
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Satan’s Girlfriend…at the Office
Happy Friday Denizens of Interwebs City! I greet you from Funny Blog Friday’s (#FBF) first ever Blog Hop Party! WHOOP!! We’ve got so much fun stuff for you today including some excellent funny blogs to read while you should be doing other things AND some excellent giveaways to enter and win. Are you jumping excitedly…
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Funny Bloggers Wanted! #FBF
FUNNY BLOGGERS: WE WANT YOU!!! Are you a funny blogger? Do you know a funny blogger? Do you read someone who’s hilarious, sarcastic, inventive, crazy or inspired in their madness? Send them our way!! Or if you’ve self-declared, We want YOU! SEND OUT THE WORRRDDDD!! A few of us bloggers (who have deemed each other…
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She Found Her Voice
I think one of the most interesting and cool things about writing is voice. The day I found my characters voice was a very exciting day for me. It was like she had come to life, like she was talking to me and she had attitude. I think the way that I found her voice…
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Blog for Mental Health 2013
I’m officially taking the pledge: I pledge my commitment to the Blog For Mental Health 2013 Project. I will blog about mental health topics not only for myself, but for others. By displaying this badge, I show my pride, dedication, and acceptance for mental health. I use this to promote mental health education in the…
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I need your help!
As a soon to be published author, I’ve really started to think a lot more about the publishing process. Specifically, I need to finalize my book cover, write a book description and decide a price for my ebook. Later I’ll also look to create a print book, but that will take a bit more effort…
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My Panic Attack
Caged inside my own mind With the devil, the monster Longing for escape Clawing at the door like an animal Depression beneath my fingernails Desperate I didn’t ask for this Heart pounds, it’s happening again Flushed red hot, shaking Hazy eyed, surreal Fear, deadly fear, like murder Poised with a knife Frantic Bloody mind, dazed,…
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This Season of USA is Lit!
These writers on this season of the USA are doing a bang up job keeping us on the edge of our seats! Let’s just hope they’re not like the writers for LOST! Buckle up for some existential rambling DREAD below! (Don’t worry, it’s…
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The Happy Forgotten Place Where Plastic Lives: The Landfill
Remember that place the so-called Landfill? I know you’re like…”What? No? What place? I don’t recall anything like that.” (All said while avoiding eye contact). Well, I’m here to point your attention in the direction of your local landfill, filled not with LAND…
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This is Why We’re All Overweight
I’ve done a little thinking on the topic and I’ve come up with several reason why we’re all overweight and continue to gain the old lbs. The equation looks something like this: unhappiness + depression + meaninglessness + boredom + our modern culture…
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Friday Obsession-Thoughts: Gifs and Funny Blogs
YEAH It’s the FRIZZ!! How happy are you? The Frizz is the best day of the work week. And when it hits end-o’-work o’clock then it’s the best day/time of the weekend too! All in all, a sweet day. This week I’m obsessed with 2 things. Gifs and Funny blogs. For example, here’s one blog…
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Tandem Sleeping
When I write Tandem Sleeping it makes me laugh. It reminds me of slalom or something or for some reason bob sledding. Why? Why? Anyway, I want to write about sleeping with someone else. It’s weird. In particular I’m going to tell you about sleeping with Mr. VS. Doesn’t that sound like fun and/or inappropriate? …
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A New Addiction Cometh: Coffee
I’ve recently added a new addiction to my collection: coffee. (I do collect addictions even though I make claim to NOT having an addictive personality. FYI, the things that I claim are always strongly suspect.) Regarding Coffee, I never thought this addiction would happen to me. I thought I was immune to Coffee’s charms. But…
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I Am Full of Bullshit: My Best Quotes on Angst
I’ve decided to collect together for your enjoyment and LOL’ing (still I shudder) an assortment of crazy, strange and yes, awesome quotes from my favorite Angst posts. I can and do amuse myself all the time (perhaps I’m the only one?). So…brace yourselves for genius (I’m so full of shit I can’t even let that…
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Optimizing SEO for Maximum Angst
In learning recently about SEO, I’ve realized that I do a terrible job of catering to my old friend Google. Or Bing or Chrome or Jeeves or Yahoo or whomever rules my online searchability status (they treat me like a peasant, when clearly I’m deserving of royalty status. I am QUEEN!). Honestly, I don’t like…
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Uncanned Laughter: Post O’ the Day
I’m responding to a Post O’ the Day! Here’s the prompt: “A misused word, a misremembered song lyric, a cream pie that just happened to be there: tell us about a time you (or someone else) said or did something unintentionally funny. ” When I went camping a year ago with friends, we had the…



