VS
Author Victoria Sawyer
Bring Me To Life
New novel coming soon!
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Sexy Canning = Botulism
Mr. VS and I were quite domesticated (like badly behaved pets) this fall and we tried some canning from the bounty of the land, i.e. our garden. BTW…we totally have a farm or something minus any animals except cats – cat farm? Our farm has no name currently but it could be called Poison Ivy…
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Forget the Lifetime Failure Tally: Look Ahead
I’ve now officially (you heard it here) been informed, through an article online that I cannot find again (did it really exist??) that I should be looking toward the future and not at the past. Mr. VS also recently told me that millionaires and highly successful people refuse to see failure and instead are always…
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My Body is a Polluted Bombed Out Wasteland
So as you might know, I’ve been on meds (Zoloft for anxiety/panic attacks) for about a year and a half. Prior to this med-circus I’m partaking in now, I had been off meds for 3.5 years. And before that I was on them for about 8 years and prior to that I was medication free…
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Broken, The Internet Is
So there are some people out there that think they are going to break the internet with their ass. These ‘people’ shall remain nameless since I can’t stand to toot their horn more than it has already been tooted by everyone else on the planet. However, I do have a few things to say on…
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A Case of “the Uglies” with Mincing and Ogling
Yesterday I had a mean case of the uglies. It’s sort of like the “mondays” but it’s the uglies instead. I don’t mean, I was ugly, as in I was horrible to be around or my mood was hideous or anything like that. What I mean is that I felt…hideous, physically. Yes, yesterday I was…
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Nature’s Fail: Exercise
I’m really intent on blaming someone (even if it’s not actually a person) for my problems. My latest conjecture is that it’s nature’s fault that I don’t exercise and I’m going to prove to you (as if I’m writing a geometry proof) that nature is in fact to blame for the fact that I’m lazy…
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I Solved Climate Change and Silenced the Alien Laughter
Yup, you heard it here first, I have, with my puny little brain, solved Climate Change in one fell swoop (what does that mean?). I’m for serious right now (I love saying that). For realz. It’s essentially pretty simple and is called: Working from Home. If I asked it as a question and you said…
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Guest Post: My “Lady Areas” Are Guilty of Attempted Murder
I promised I’d write about how my “Lady Areas” are guilty of attempted murder and I’ve followed through by asking the AhMAZING Katie of Sass and Balderdash to post it as a guest blog (rant) on her blog. Check it out! My areas are card carrying killer assassins!
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I Made Words: Anarchy!!
Anarchy, Anarchy, Government Grammar is evil!!! I don’t know if you know, but I’m an English major with an actual BA (Bad Ass)degree in English. Does that mean that I am certified to speak English you ask? Don’t be an asshole! (I am certified for that, BTW, but it’s not the only thing we English…
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The Importance of Voice in Non-Fiction
This is a guest blog post from Nickolas Baron from Grammarly (a free proofreading tool for writers). It’s his take on the importance of voice and trust me, I agree! Voice is incredibly important, no matter what kind of writing you’re attempting. An interesting narrator will get you everywhere! Read on for tips on writing…
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What Kind of Strange Godforsaken Place is This?
So, if you’re new to this site, like an intrepid (love this word) space traveler who has stumbled upon a strange and clearly godforsaken (also love this word) alien world, you might begin to ask yourself, what the hell kind of place is this? What does it mean! By god, Captain Kirk, where are we???!!! …
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END 8 HOUR WORK DAYS! START A REVOLUTION!!
Have you ever felt trapped in your life? Have you ever felt like you don’t have enough time? Do you neglect taking care of yourself because you feel you don’t have enough time in the day to eat correctly or exercise? Do you…
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Ahhh!!! Realization: I’m a Sci-Fi Nerd!!!
Oh God, oh God, oh God. Oh GOD!!!! PANIC!!! OH GAWD SAVE MEEEE!! Ok, take a deep breath, everything’s gonna be alright. Hee…heee…heee…head between knees…deep breathing…. gasp….can’t breathe…heart pounding with terrible truth!!! It’s okay, calm, soothe, calm, soothe. Serenity Nowwwww!! Haaa!! It’s funny…
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Humble Cake
And then in true Angst fashion, you laugh about it and make a joke, because to do otherwise would be….too depressing for words and I’m through that stage. Acceptance, Grief, Bargaining…Humorous Self-depreciation? Making fun of thyself…best for thyself. (This brings Jim Gaffigan to…
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My Endometriosis Story
Having a chronic illness is cool. Having several is even better. It’s especially fun when you think one of them might be gone and then it REARS its ugly head yet again and brings you right back to square one, living Groundhog Day all over again. So let’s talk about my Endometriosis story, which I…
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This Season of USA is Lit!
These writers on this season of the USA are doing a bang up job keeping us on the edge of our seats! Let’s just hope they’re not like the writers for LOST! Buckle up for some existential rambling DREAD below! (Don’t worry, it’s not political.) As an aside – I randomly decided to check out…
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As the Earth Tilts…on its Evil Axis
It’s that time of year again when the earth tries to screw those of us in the northern hemisphere by tilting itself away from the beautiful rays of the benevolent sun. Yes, ladies and gentleman, the hours of day light are getting shorter and we’re getting a hell of a lot colder, fast. Damn you…
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The Happy Forgotten Place Where Plastic Lives: The Landfill
Remember that place the so-called Landfill? I know you’re like…”What? No? What place? I don’t recall anything like that.” (All said while avoiding eye contact). Well, I’m here to point your attention in the direction of your local landfill, filled not with LAND but with plastic and unwanted junk. Remember that place? I know, I…
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Skinny Jeans: Finally, a Reasonable Explanation
For the longest time it’s been very unclear to my why Skinny Jeans are a thing. In fact, I devoted an entire blog post to my musing on the fact that Skinny Jeans do justice to no one and thus are a vast criminal empire where justice doesn’t even exist. But finally, the day has…
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Tears of a Kitten: A Heroic Cat Rescue
Here’s a story for all you cat mothers out there. A story of heroism, kitten crocodile tears, trees, ticks, poison ivy, sneaky cats, darkness and more!! All the elements of a truly epic tale. SO EXCITING!! Several months ago in the early spring, I got home from work late just a little before 8 PM…
Angst Anarchy 