VS
Author Victoria Sawyer


Bring Me To Life
New novel coming soon!
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Sexy Canning = Botulism
Mr. VS and I were quite domesticated (like badly behaved pets) this fall and we tried some canning from the bounty of the land, i.e. our garden. BTW…we totally have a farm or something minus any animals except cats – cat farm? Our farm has no name currently but it could be called Poison Ivy…
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Forget the Lifetime Failure Tally: Look Ahead
I’ve now officially (you heard it here) been informed, through an article online that I cannot find again (did it really exist??) that I should be looking toward the future and not at the past. Mr. VS also recently told me that millionaires and highly successful people refuse to see failure and instead are always…
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My Body is a Polluted Bombed Out Wasteland
So as you might know, I’ve been on meds (Zoloft for anxiety/panic attacks) for about a year and a half. Prior to this med-circus I’m partaking in now, I had been off meds for 3.5 years. And before that I was on them for about 8 years and prior to that I was medication free…
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Broken, The Internet Is
So there are some people out there that think they are going to break the internet with their ass. These ‘people’ shall remain nameless since I can’t stand to toot their horn more than it has already been tooted by everyone else on the planet. However, I do have a few things to say on…
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A Case of “the Uglies” with Mincing and Ogling
Yesterday I had a mean case of the uglies. It’s sort of like the “mondays” but it’s the uglies instead. I don’t mean, I was ugly, as in I was horrible to be around or my mood was hideous or anything like that. What I mean is that I felt…hideous, physically. Yes, yesterday I was…
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Nature’s Fail: Exercise
I’m really intent on blaming someone (even if it’s not actually a person) for my problems. My latest conjecture is that it’s nature’s fault that I don’t exercise and I’m going to prove to you (as if I’m writing a geometry proof) that nature is in fact to blame for the fact that I’m lazy…
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I Solved Climate Change and Silenced the Alien Laughter
Yup, you heard it here first, I have, with my puny little brain, solved Climate Change in one fell swoop (what does that mean?). I’m for serious right now (I love saying that). For realz. It’s essentially pretty simple and is called: Working from Home. If I asked it as a question and you said…
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Guest Post: My “Lady Areas” Are Guilty of Attempted Murder
I promised I’d write about how my “Lady Areas” are guilty of attempted murder and I’ve followed through by asking the AhMAZING Katie of Sass and Balderdash to post it as a guest blog (rant) on her blog. Check it out! My areas are card carrying killer assassins!
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Angst (Review)
Amazing review of Angst (seriously what a well written review!) by fellow author S.A. Williams. Thank you! Angst (Review). via Angst (Review).
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A Critique – Identity Crisis or Journey of Self-Discovery?
“Sometimes I get so tired of being critiqued in everything I do. Art and writing. It gets so hard to still actually want to create something. But I guess that comes with the territory, your creativity will always be judged, labeled and critiqued. It’s hard because creativity is close to my heart and getting criticized…
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A Crazy Sexy Cool Snapshot of Me
Let’s be honest with each other right now. This is sort of a secret blog. People in my “real” life don’t know about it. I’m trying however to come out of the writing closet and I recently told one of my cousins about what I’m doing. Sort of. I was vague as all hell, but…
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Heat Drips, Like Fire Across the Skin
I plucked the words, fresh and clean To taste, with the tip of my tongue Fresh fruit, a strawberry A slice of citrus, orange strong Texture smooth, thick cream Sensual Lip to warm soft lip I kiss them into him Saccharine turns to ash Chalky, dry A parched desert Of powdered milk I taste, Charcoal…
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This Season of USA is Lit!
These writers on this season of the USA are doing a bang up job keeping us on the edge of our seats! Let’s just hope they’re not like the writers for LOST! Buckle up for some existential rambling DREAD below! (Don’t worry, it’s…
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The Happy Forgotten Place Where Plastic Lives: The Landfill
Remember that place the so-called Landfill? I know you’re like…”What? No? What place? I don’t recall anything like that.” (All said while avoiding eye contact). Well, I’m here to point your attention in the direction of your local landfill, filled not with LAND…
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This is Why We’re All Overweight
I’ve done a little thinking on the topic and I’ve come up with several reason why we’re all overweight and continue to gain the old lbs. The equation looks something like this: unhappiness + depression + meaninglessness + boredom + our modern culture…
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Complain-a-thon: Traffic
I don’t know why, but when I’m driving is when I seem to find things annoying and ridiculous and stupid. In particular, driving makes me hate humanity. That’s normal, right? Here’s a list of things that I think are stupid (mostly because it makes me have anxiety about my MPG. Seriously I have anxiety/irritation about…
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A Wooden Anniversary with Hiking
Mr. VS and I just celebrated our “Wooden” Anniversary. For those not in the know, a wooden anniversary is 5 years and Mr. VS and I are enjoying wooden wedded bliss Thus we celebrate. It’s lame because once you get up there in years for anniversaries you get to have silver or gold anniversaries, a…
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Submitting to the Sickness
Per usual I have obtained through no fault of my own (I swear) my typical September Cold. YEEEHAWWW. So very thrilling I can’t even contain myself as I wave my tissue pom-poms in the air with a barely mustered excitement. I don’t know what it is, but as soon as September rolls around I always…
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Friday Mad Libs
From now on, or whenever the hell I remember, I’m going to present you with some Mad Libs. Remember Mad Libs? That shit was great. I remember being in my bedroom on the corded phone with my best friend (it was the 90’s! yea!!), filling out Mad Libs and laughing uproariously. Of course we’d make…





