VS
Author Victoria Sawyer
Bring Me To Life
New novel coming soon!
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Sexy Canning = Botulism
Mr. VS and I were quite domesticated (like badly behaved pets) this fall and we tried some canning from the bounty of the land, i.e. our garden. BTW…we totally have a farm or something minus any animals except cats – cat farm? Our farm has no name currently but it could be called Poison Ivy…
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Forget the Lifetime Failure Tally: Look Ahead
I’ve now officially (you heard it here) been informed, through an article online that I cannot find again (did it really exist??) that I should be looking toward the future and not at the past. Mr. VS also recently told me that millionaires and highly successful people refuse to see failure and instead are always…
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My Body is a Polluted Bombed Out Wasteland
So as you might know, I’ve been on meds (Zoloft for anxiety/panic attacks) for about a year and a half. Prior to this med-circus I’m partaking in now, I had been off meds for 3.5 years. And before that I was on them for about 8 years and prior to that I was medication free…
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Broken, The Internet Is
So there are some people out there that think they are going to break the internet with their ass. These ‘people’ shall remain nameless since I can’t stand to toot their horn more than it has already been tooted by everyone else on the planet. However, I do have a few things to say on…
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A Case of “the Uglies” with Mincing and Ogling
Yesterday I had a mean case of the uglies. It’s sort of like the “mondays” but it’s the uglies instead. I don’t mean, I was ugly, as in I was horrible to be around or my mood was hideous or anything like that. What I mean is that I felt…hideous, physically. Yes, yesterday I was…
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Your Viewing Pleasure – Guy on a Buffalo
Your Viewing Pleasure is where I share my favorite YouTube vids. This one is no exception. Apparently there’s this old movie about a guy riding on a buffalo and some genius decided to add a song track on top of the video. What emerges is classic. One day…the guy on the buffalo was riding around…
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Screw You Credit Card Nation
It seems like every time I go anywhere these days I’m offered a $%&*@ credit card. Do you know how this enrages me?! It does! I want to have a normal enjoyable shopping experience but when it comes time to check out, you have to basically fight off the cashier trying to shove a store credit…
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Braggadocious! Introducing: The Blog Brag
Has it ever occurred to you how braggy songs can be? In particular hip hop songs are pretty damn braggy. It makes me laugh cause when you hear a braggy, pompous, I’m awesome, Eat my #@$% song you’re all pumped up and like…HELL YEA!!! PREACH!! You da Man! And you don’t mind the bragging at…
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I’m Stressing You Out
Occasionally I check Goodreads to see what people think of Angst. I’ll tell you, it’s hard sometimes to see that someone rated your book as 2 stars when you feel like you’ve poured out your heart and soul, exposing your inner feelings and essentially how crazy you are, especially when you’re not sure why they…
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Swim Away into Oblivion
My never ending lament To escape this jail cell A heavy chain hangs about my neck Dragging me down to the depths of the dark sea Pressure against my lungs, collapse Sinking Sinking Struggle, panic, I want out To cut the chains I must breathe But I can’t! I can’t! Sucking in dirty water Choking,…
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What Every Writer Wants
Every writer wants to be heard. Wants their ideas, emotions, worlds to be ingested, inhaled by readers. We want readers to live in our world, the one we created, the one that is us, even if it isn’t. And words, words are my friends. They are how I communicate, they are how I express who…
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Until You See The Holes Cut Out Of Heaven
I awoke to the sounds of the alarm Blaring, screaming, Wake up, get up, get your lazy ass up Immediately, start the day, start it up Rev it high and then change gears Smoothly first to second, The engine bucks and you jerk Forward The hot water gasps and sputters Time to start the race…
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As You Slowly Light Your Never Ending Cigarette
I’ve got a few posts in my head right now and even a few drafts here on WordPress, but for some reason I can’t seem to decide what to write. Definitely content creation FAIL. I’m thinking about writing styles, about Pinterest, about my book, about self-criticism, about so many different things. Even about poems and…
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This Season of USA is Lit!
These writers on this season of the USA are doing a bang up job keeping us on the edge of our seats! Let’s just hope they’re not like the writers for LOST! Buckle up for some existential rambling DREAD below! (Don’t worry, it’s…
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The Happy Forgotten Place Where Plastic Lives: The Landfill
Remember that place the so-called Landfill? I know you’re like…”What? No? What place? I don’t recall anything like that.” (All said while avoiding eye contact). Well, I’m here to point your attention in the direction of your local landfill, filled not with LAND…
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This is Why We’re All Overweight
I’ve done a little thinking on the topic and I’ve come up with several reason why we’re all overweight and continue to gain the old lbs. The equation looks something like this: unhappiness + depression + meaninglessness + boredom + our modern culture…
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Welcome to my Unconscious Mind: 23 Weird-Ass Dreams
While I was enjoying a nice long vacation (are you jealous?! HAHA!! STOP…HOLD THAT THOUGHT: this is an old post and now there’s no longer cause for jealousy because there are 5 day work weeks stretching out into infinity) ANYWAY, I was noticing that I have a lot of weird-ass dreams. In particular it came…
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2 Kitten Power
There are 2 kinds of men in the world, those that want to go out of their way to help women lift heavy objects and those that feel women are as strong as men and can help themselves. Guess which kind of man Mr. VS happens to be? That’s right, he’s the kind that believes…
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A Mister Mister Holiday Tragedy
When I walked in the door the other day after work, Mr. VS was grooving around the kitchen while listening to Mister Mister and simultaneously baking chocolate chip cookies. He has a Mister Mister record on vinyl. It was blasting in all its 80’s glory. It was embarrassing. But then I noticed the huge bottles of Jameson…
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Myspace to My Place ~ a love story
Today I’m going to bring you guys back in time! (BACK IN TIMEEEE!!) via a sweet time machine DeLorean so you can witness how Mr. VS and I met. Yes, it was online and yes we had a blind date (sorta) and yes I was afraid that Mr. VS was a murderer. Before we jump into…
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My Waste Toner Cartridge Needs Replacement
When I say my waste toner cartridge needs to be replaced, what I really mean is that there is waste that needs eliminating. And what I mean by that is that my body seems to need to eliminate waste all the freaking time and I’m over it. Let’s just get over the ew factor here…
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An Awkward Encounter: BFF Edition
Have you ever had a really awkward encounter with someone you’re quite close to? Have you ever seen someone “out of context” and it made your brain feel all funny and mushy and you couldn’t speak like an edu-macated homo-sapien? An occurrence like this happened to me just the other day with my friend Annie…
Angst Anarchy 