VS
Author Victoria Sawyer


Bring Me To Life
New novel coming soon!
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Sexy Canning = Botulism
Mr. VS and I were quite domesticated (like badly behaved pets) this fall and we tried some canning from the bounty of the land, i.e. our garden. BTW…we totally have a farm or something minus any animals except cats – cat farm? Our farm has no name currently but it could be called Poison Ivy…
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Forget the Lifetime Failure Tally: Look Ahead
I’ve now officially (you heard it here) been informed, through an article online that I cannot find again (did it really exist??) that I should be looking toward the future and not at the past. Mr. VS also recently told me that millionaires and highly successful people refuse to see failure and instead are always…
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My Body is a Polluted Bombed Out Wasteland
So as you might know, I’ve been on meds (Zoloft for anxiety/panic attacks) for about a year and a half. Prior to this med-circus I’m partaking in now, I had been off meds for 3.5 years. And before that I was on them for about 8 years and prior to that I was medication free…
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Broken, The Internet Is
So there are some people out there that think they are going to break the internet with their ass. These ‘people’ shall remain nameless since I can’t stand to toot their horn more than it has already been tooted by everyone else on the planet. However, I do have a few things to say on…
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A Case of “the Uglies” with Mincing and Ogling
Yesterday I had a mean case of the uglies. It’s sort of like the “mondays” but it’s the uglies instead. I don’t mean, I was ugly, as in I was horrible to be around or my mood was hideous or anything like that. What I mean is that I felt…hideous, physically. Yes, yesterday I was…
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Your Viewing Pleasure – Guy on a Buffalo
Your Viewing Pleasure is where I share my favorite YouTube vids. This one is no exception. Apparently there’s this old movie about a guy riding on a buffalo and some genius decided to add a song track on top of the video. What emerges is classic. One day…the guy on the buffalo was riding around…
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Screw You Credit Card Nation
It seems like every time I go anywhere these days I’m offered a $%&*@ credit card. Do you know how this enrages me?! It does! I want to have a normal enjoyable shopping experience but when it comes time to check out, you have to basically fight off the cashier trying to shove a store credit…
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Braggadocious! Introducing: The Blog Brag
Has it ever occurred to you how braggy songs can be? In particular hip hop songs are pretty damn braggy. It makes me laugh cause when you hear a braggy, pompous, I’m awesome, Eat my #@$% song you’re all pumped up and like…HELL YEA!!! PREACH!! You da Man! And you don’t mind the bragging at…
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Raw Emotion – Publishing Angst
So, I’m really excited right now. I turned my novel over to my editor for the second time and I feel like I’m getting really close now. She thinks she’ll have it for 2 weeks at the most and then it’ll come back to me for final, final polishing edits and then, gulp, formatting for…
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This Season of USA is Lit!
These writers on this season of the USA are doing a bang up job keeping us on the edge of our seats! Let’s just hope they’re not like the writers for LOST! Buckle up for some existential rambling DREAD below! (Don’t worry, it’s…
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The Happy Forgotten Place Where Plastic Lives: The Landfill
Remember that place the so-called Landfill? I know you’re like…”What? No? What place? I don’t recall anything like that.” (All said while avoiding eye contact). Well, I’m here to point your attention in the direction of your local landfill, filled not with LAND…
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This is Why We’re All Overweight
I’ve done a little thinking on the topic and I’ve come up with several reason why we’re all overweight and continue to gain the old lbs. The equation looks something like this: unhappiness + depression + meaninglessness + boredom + our modern culture…
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Friend-cation and Camping Sucks
I just went on the most fun friend-cation ever! BEST TIME EVER!! YOLO fools!!! (We were all about yelling YOLO about anything and everything because we hate it so much. YOLO is dumb (as is Facebook and everyone’s obnox posts about themselves). It’s something you’d yell while doing a keg stand, however it’s actually trying…
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I Abused Photoshop Just For You
Here’s another one of those things that just blows your mind. PHOTOSHOP!! I’m actually a photoshop user, but I don’t really abuse it like some people do. I don’t flog the ‘shop. However, for you, for today, I decided to do it. Abuse!! (Also this post is NEWLY updated, by popular demand, with the original…
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Studying the Male of the Species and Boy Eyes
Do you live with a man? Do you know one? Have you ever interacted with the male of the species? You know…those ones that aren’t female? Yeah, those guys. You’ve seen them around, I’m sure. They’re everywhere. And yes, if you’re female, you’ve probably been ogled by these so-called “males” of the species. You know…
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Just FYI – Submarines
FYI – Submarines Just an FYI that Mr. VS might have something to do with submarines existing in the world. I just want to make that clear. Also over the weekend while we were camping (more on that later) and were swimming in the lake, I climbed on Mr. VS’s back and said loudly…..DIVE DIVE…




