Angst Anarchy

Sexy Canning = Botulism

Mr. VS and I were quite domesticated (like badly behaved pets) this fall and we tried some canning from the bounty of the land, i.e. our garden. BTW…we totally have a farm or something minus any animals except cats – cat farm? Our farm has no name currently but it could be called Poison Ivy…

Forget the Lifetime Failure Tally: Look Ahead

I’ve now officially (you heard it here) been informed, through an article online that I cannot find again (did it really exist??) that I should be looking toward the future and not at the past. Mr. VS also recently told me that millionaires and highly successful people refuse to see failure and instead are always…

My Body is a Polluted Bombed Out Wasteland

So as you might know, I’ve been on meds (Zoloft for anxiety/panic attacks) for about a year and a half. Prior to this med-circus I’m partaking in now, I had been off meds for 3.5 years. And before that I was on them for about 8 years and prior to that I was medication free…

Broken, The Internet Is

So there are some people out there that think they are going to break the internet with their ass. These ‘people’ shall remain nameless since I can’t stand to toot their horn more than it has already been tooted by everyone else on the planet. However, I do have a few things to say on…

A Case of “the Uglies” with Mincing and Ogling

Yesterday I had a mean case of the uglies. It’s sort of like the “mondays” but it’s the uglies instead. I don’t mean, I was ugly, as in I was horrible to be around or my mood was hideous or anything like that. What I mean is that I felt…hideous, physically. Yes, yesterday I was…

My Short Term Memory is Shot

Lately, my short term memory has been failing at life. It’s taken a nice long vacation and has not returned. It’s getting scary you guys. I used to be so on top of things and now I’m a sad shell of the woman I used to be. Guys, thoughts will appear and then they disappear…

The “Feeling Hellish” Fairy

I was driving home from work the other day when I started thinking about how shitty I’ve been feeling lately. And whenever I think about how shitty I feel, I think about how I want to “gift” that shitty feeling onto someone else. Like, here ya go, feel how I’m feeling. How does that terrible…

Small Cat Diary

Mr. VS and I have been watching a show on Netflix entitled Big Cat Diary. It’s a BBC show with a few Brits who travel to Africa and film big cats doing their thang. I.e. hunting, killing shit, having adorbs kittens/cubs, murdering gazelles, fighting among themselves etc. It’s pretty good. But it makes me want…

The Last Option

In honor of Mental Illness Awareness Week…I offer you a short story about suffering from mental illness. Will you take the time to spread the word, to spread acceptance, empathy and compassion? Everyone knows someone who suffers, even if you don’t realize it, for many suffer alone. Are you willing to make it a bit…

Getting My Muse Stinkin’ Drunk

This might well be my most ill-advised, irresponsible blog post yet. However, it’s not like someone else advised me not to write this. I advised myself that it was wrong, then battled it out in my head and….yeah I won. So here goes nothing!! (afterall, I’ve never let inhibitions get in my way before! Just…

Writers: Stop Writing and Live

Sometimes writing isn’t writing, sometimes to write you need to stop writing. This just occurred to me as I sat here listening to music and emotion suddenly infected me with a sense of joy, love, clarity. What I realized is that writers need breaks. Sometimes we have to live or our stories will not be…

Queen For a Day. Or Two. Screw that, Queen Foreva!!

So you’ve heard my woes, here and here, about my meds causing me to suffer the agony of a life without creativity and without…gasp…sleep. Yes, it was hell. I know, the kinds of problems I have…pathetic. You also heard my woes damning anxiety absolutely to hell and back again because it was driving me up…

DAMN YOU ANXIETY!!

I’m going to apply for a job. Last night I lay awake in bed for hours going over every aspect of the job description that makes me nervous and with every anxious thought, I thought DAMN YOU ANXIETY!! And of course with every thought, I imagined how I can’t handle it, how I’ll crumble, how…

Adult Temper Tantrums Are Allowed.

I’m throwing the worst temper tantrum ever. Now before you start imagining me kicking and screaming, I need to clue you in on what that means. Worst refers to the fact that this is probably the most pathetic temper tantrum ever recorded because I’m far too lazy to engage in true hysterics. I almost feel…

This Season of USA is Lit!

These writers on this season of the USA are doing a bang up job keeping us on the edge of our seats! Let’s just hope they’re not like the writers for LOST! Buckle up for some existential rambling DREAD below! (Don’t worry, it’s…

The Happy Forgotten Place Where Plastic Lives: The Landfill

Remember that place the so-called Landfill? I know you’re like…”What? No? What place? I don’t recall anything like that.” (All said while avoiding eye contact). Well, I’m here to point your attention in the direction of your local landfill, filled not with LAND…

This is Why We’re All Overweight

I’ve done a little thinking on the topic and I’ve come up with several reason why we’re all overweight and continue to gain the old lbs. The equation looks something like this: unhappiness + depression + meaninglessness + boredom + our modern culture…

Black Friday Crusades

Hello All on this lovely Black Friday! I’m here to tell you why Black Friday is the WORST invention EVER!! I feel a little rant coming on. I think it’s pretty funny that we’ve got this holiday where we’re supposed to be loving each other, spending time with family, giving and being thankful and then…

Nature’s Fail: Exercise

I’m really intent on blaming someone (even if it’s not actually a person) for my problems. My latest conjecture is that it’s nature’s fault that I don’t exercise and I’m going to prove to you (as if I’m writing a geometry proof) that nature is in fact to blame for the fact that I’m lazy…

I Solved Climate Change and Silenced the Alien Laughter

Yup, you heard it here first, I have, with my puny little brain, solved Climate Change in one fell swoop (what does that mean?). I’m for serious right now (I love saying that). For realz. It’s essentially pretty simple and is called: Working from Home. If I asked it as a question and you said…

How To Second-Hand Shop Like a Boss

I’m a big second-hand shopper. I love it. It’s like Raiders of the Lost Ark to me. Well…I guess…Raiders of the Lost Closet where you can find one of a kind things without spiders all over your back or huge boulders attempting to crush you. Plus you’ll pay cheap money for cute things and ALSO it’s…

Satan’s Girlfriend…at the Office

Happy Friday Denizens of Interwebs City! I greet you from Funny Blog Friday’s (#FBF) first ever Blog Hop Party! WHOOP!! We’ve got so much fun stuff for you today including some excellent funny blogs to read while you should be doing other things AND some excellent giveaways to enter and win. Are you jumping excitedly…

Funny Bloggers Wanted! #FBF

FUNNY BLOGGERS: WE WANT YOU!!! Are you a funny blogger? Do you know a funny blogger? Do you read someone who’s hilarious, sarcastic, inventive, crazy or inspired in their madness? Send them our way!! Or if you’ve self-declared, We want YOU! SEND OUT THE WORRRDDDD!! A few of us bloggers (who have deemed each other…

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