VS
Author Victoria Sawyer


Bring Me To Life
New novel coming soon!
-

Sexy Canning = Botulism
Mr. VS and I were quite domesticated (like badly behaved pets) this fall and we tried some canning from the bounty of the land, i.e. our garden. BTW…we totally have a farm or something minus any animals except cats – cat farm? Our farm has no name currently but it could be called Poison Ivy…
-

Forget the Lifetime Failure Tally: Look Ahead
I’ve now officially (you heard it here) been informed, through an article online that I cannot find again (did it really exist??) that I should be looking toward the future and not at the past. Mr. VS also recently told me that millionaires and highly successful people refuse to see failure and instead are always…
-

My Body is a Polluted Bombed Out Wasteland
So as you might know, I’ve been on meds (Zoloft for anxiety/panic attacks) for about a year and a half. Prior to this med-circus I’m partaking in now, I had been off meds for 3.5 years. And before that I was on them for about 8 years and prior to that I was medication free…
-

Broken, The Internet Is
So there are some people out there that think they are going to break the internet with their ass. These ‘people’ shall remain nameless since I can’t stand to toot their horn more than it has already been tooted by everyone else on the planet. However, I do have a few things to say on…
-

A Case of “the Uglies” with Mincing and Ogling
Yesterday I had a mean case of the uglies. It’s sort of like the “mondays” but it’s the uglies instead. I don’t mean, I was ugly, as in I was horrible to be around or my mood was hideous or anything like that. What I mean is that I felt…hideous, physically. Yes, yesterday I was…
-
Work From Home Day
Did you know that today is both Earth Day AND Administrative Professional’s day? That’s a rhetorical question, of course you knew! You are SO on top of things. I just hope you’ve remembered to bring flowers for your Admin’s today because they will NOT hold your calls and will schedule impossible meetings if you don’t. Anywayyy…So…
-

World of Horrors! (Pre-technology)
Did you know that approximately 15 to 20 years ago we didn’t have the technology that we have today? Is it stupid to ask that question? (A: YES!) I feel like I was born at a unique time in modern history because I lived without technology and now I’ve evolved as technology has evolved. For all you youngsters…
-

Turn Noun for Bacon
We’re trying out a little experiment for a friend of mine, Jessie of Jessie Janelle Reyna, called Turn Noun For What. It’s basically where a bunch of bloggers create a blog post on command about a certain noun. Today’s word bomb of the day, children, is: Bacon. What can one really say about Bacon? It’s…
-
I’m Stressing You Out
Occasionally I check Goodreads to see what people think of Angst. I’ll tell you, it’s hard sometimes to see that someone rated your book as 2 stars when you feel like you’ve poured out your heart and soul, exposing your inner feelings and essentially how crazy you are, especially when you’re not sure why they…
-
Swim Away into Oblivion
My never ending lament To escape this jail cell A heavy chain hangs about my neck Dragging me down to the depths of the dark sea Pressure against my lungs, collapse Sinking Sinking Struggle, panic, I want out To cut the chains I must breathe But I can’t! I can’t! Sucking in dirty water Choking,…
-
Until You See The Holes Cut Out Of Heaven
I awoke to the sounds of the alarm Blaring, screaming, Wake up, get up, get your lazy ass up Immediately, start the day, start it up Rev it high and then change gears Smoothly first to second, The engine bucks and you jerk Forward The hot water gasps and sputters Time to start the race…
-

As You Slowly Light Your Never Ending Cigarette
I’ve got a few posts in my head right now and even a few drafts here on WordPress, but for some reason I can’t seem to decide what to write. Definitely content creation FAIL. I’m thinking about writing styles, about Pinterest, about my book, about self-criticism, about so many different things. Even about poems and…
-

My Brain is Technology
I think my Brain might be hiding things from me. In fact, I know my brain is hiding shit. Have you ever really given your brain a thought? Brains are weird-ass shit. I started thinking about my brain in the middle of the…
-

The Term “Plus-Size” Pisses Me Off.
The other day I was reading this article on Yahoo: How Shopping with a Plus-sized Model Made Me Face My Own Body Issues. And I started getting pissed off and fired up about the word Plus Size. WTF kind of word is that? …
-

Weight Gain Extravaganza
Recently I came to the conclusion that we have so many feelings and emotions and thoughts and self-flagellation and judging of others involved in our weight. I know, I’m a genius for realizing this super obvious emotional response. However, the thought that occurred…
-

My Endometriosis Story
Having a chronic illness is cool. Having several is even better. It’s especially fun when you think one of them might be gone and then it REARS its ugly head yet again and brings you right back to square one, living Groundhog Day all over again. So let’s talk about my Endometriosis story, which I…
-

This Season of USA is Lit!
These writers on this season of the USA are doing a bang up job keeping us on the edge of our seats! Let’s just hope they’re not like the writers for LOST! Buckle up for some existential rambling DREAD below! (Don’t worry, it’s not political.) As an aside – I randomly decided to check out…
-

As the Earth Tilts…on its Evil Axis
It’s that time of year again when the earth tries to screw those of us in the northern hemisphere by tilting itself away from the beautiful rays of the benevolent sun. Yes, ladies and gentleman, the hours of day light are getting shorter and we’re getting a hell of a lot colder, fast. Damn you…
-

The Happy Forgotten Place Where Plastic Lives: The Landfill
Remember that place the so-called Landfill? I know you’re like…”What? No? What place? I don’t recall anything like that.” (All said while avoiding eye contact). Well, I’m here to point your attention in the direction of your local landfill, filled not with LAND but with plastic and unwanted junk. Remember that place? I know, I…
-

Skinny Jeans: Finally, a Reasonable Explanation
For the longest time it’s been very unclear to my why Skinny Jeans are a thing. In fact, I devoted an entire blog post to my musing on the fact that Skinny Jeans do justice to no one and thus are a vast criminal empire where justice doesn’t even exist. But finally, the day has…
-

Tears of a Kitten: A Heroic Cat Rescue
Here’s a story for all you cat mothers out there. A story of heroism, kitten crocodile tears, trees, ticks, poison ivy, sneaky cats, darkness and more!! All the elements of a truly epic tale. SO EXCITING!! Several months ago in the early spring, I got home from work late just a little before 8 PM…




