VS
Author Victoria Sawyer
Bring Me To Life
New novel coming soon!
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Sexy Canning = Botulism
Mr. VS and I were quite domesticated (like badly behaved pets) this fall and we tried some canning from the bounty of the land, i.e. our garden. BTW…we totally have a farm or something minus any animals except cats – cat farm? Our farm has no name currently but it could be called Poison Ivy…
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Forget the Lifetime Failure Tally: Look Ahead
I’ve now officially (you heard it here) been informed, through an article online that I cannot find again (did it really exist??) that I should be looking toward the future and not at the past. Mr. VS also recently told me that millionaires and highly successful people refuse to see failure and instead are always…
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My Body is a Polluted Bombed Out Wasteland
So as you might know, I’ve been on meds (Zoloft for anxiety/panic attacks) for about a year and a half. Prior to this med-circus I’m partaking in now, I had been off meds for 3.5 years. And before that I was on them for about 8 years and prior to that I was medication free…
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Broken, The Internet Is
So there are some people out there that think they are going to break the internet with their ass. These ‘people’ shall remain nameless since I can’t stand to toot their horn more than it has already been tooted by everyone else on the planet. However, I do have a few things to say on…
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A Case of “the Uglies” with Mincing and Ogling
Yesterday I had a mean case of the uglies. It’s sort of like the “mondays” but it’s the uglies instead. I don’t mean, I was ugly, as in I was horrible to be around or my mood was hideous or anything like that. What I mean is that I felt…hideous, physically. Yes, yesterday I was…
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I’m Not Medicated
I stopped taking my anxiety meds and Birth control (obvi) for procreation reasons because I wanted my body to be less of a bombed out medicinal wasteland for you know…a possible pregnancy. I’m not actually happy about being off meds this time as I am realizing the drastic difference between medication and the lack there of.…
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Aliens: Not as Scary
When I was a kid I was terrified of aliens. In the fifth grade our teacher showed us all these films about people seeing flying saucers and being abducted (and probed *shudder*) by big headed aliens in remote mountainous regions. (Why 5th grade teacher, WHY?!??) So, it figures that I was terrified I was gonna…
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Germ-O-Phobe
I’m a certified Germ-o-phobe and I will proclaim and admit all you like. What I’ve realized recently about being a Germ-o is that it’s not really about the germs at all, it’s about my brain. I have to be a Germ-o to satisfy my brain, to basically convince my brain to keep quiet and stay…
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The Last Option
In honor of Mental Illness Awareness Week…I offer you a short story about suffering from mental illness. Will you take the time to spread the word, to spread acceptance, empathy and compassion? Everyone knows someone who suffers, even if you don’t realize it, for many suffer alone. Are you willing to make it a bit…
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Getting My Muse Stinkin’ Drunk
This might well be my most ill-advised, irresponsible blog post yet. However, it’s not like someone else advised me not to write this. I advised myself that it was wrong, then battled it out in my head and….yeah I won. So here goes nothing!! (afterall, I’ve never let inhibitions get in my way before! Just…
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Writers: Stop Writing and Live
Sometimes writing isn’t writing, sometimes to write you need to stop writing. This just occurred to me as I sat here listening to music and emotion suddenly infected me with a sense of joy, love, clarity. What I realized is that writers need breaks. Sometimes we have to live or our stories will not be…
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Queen For a Day. Or Two. Screw that, Queen Foreva!!
So you’ve heard my woes, here and here, about my meds causing me to suffer the agony of a life without creativity and without…gasp…sleep. Yes, it was hell. I know, the kinds of problems I have…pathetic. You also heard my woes damning anxiety absolutely to hell and back again because it was driving me up…
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DAMN YOU ANXIETY!!
I’m going to apply for a job. Last night I lay awake in bed for hours going over every aspect of the job description that makes me nervous and with every anxious thought, I thought DAMN YOU ANXIETY!! And of course with every thought, I imagined how I can’t handle it, how I’ll crumble, how…
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Adult Temper Tantrums Are Allowed.
I’m throwing the worst temper tantrum ever. Now before you start imagining me kicking and screaming, I need to clue you in on what that means. Worst refers to the fact that this is probably the most pathetic temper tantrum ever recorded because I’m far too lazy to engage in true hysterics. I almost feel…
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This Season of USA is Lit!
These writers on this season of the USA are doing a bang up job keeping us on the edge of our seats! Let’s just hope they’re not like the writers for LOST! Buckle up for some existential rambling DREAD below! (Don’t worry, it’s…
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The Happy Forgotten Place Where Plastic Lives: The Landfill
Remember that place the so-called Landfill? I know you’re like…”What? No? What place? I don’t recall anything like that.” (All said while avoiding eye contact). Well, I’m here to point your attention in the direction of your local landfill, filled not with LAND…
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This is Why We’re All Overweight
I’ve done a little thinking on the topic and I’ve come up with several reason why we’re all overweight and continue to gain the old lbs. The equation looks something like this: unhappiness + depression + meaninglessness + boredom + our modern culture…
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Welcome to my Unconscious Mind: 23 Weird-Ass Dreams
While I was enjoying a nice long vacation (are you jealous?! HAHA!! STOP…HOLD THAT THOUGHT: this is an old post and now there’s no longer cause for jealousy because there are 5 day work weeks stretching out into infinity) ANYWAY, I was noticing that I have a lot of weird-ass dreams. In particular it came…
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2 Kitten Power
There are 2 kinds of men in the world, those that want to go out of their way to help women lift heavy objects and those that feel women are as strong as men and can help themselves. Guess which kind of man Mr. VS happens to be? That’s right, he’s the kind that believes…
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A Mister Mister Holiday Tragedy
When I walked in the door the other day after work, Mr. VS was grooving around the kitchen while listening to Mister Mister and simultaneously baking chocolate chip cookies. He has a Mister Mister record on vinyl. It was blasting in all its 80’s glory. It was embarrassing. But then I noticed the huge bottles of Jameson…
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Myspace to My Place ~ a love story
Today I’m going to bring you guys back in time! (BACK IN TIMEEEE!!) via a sweet time machine DeLorean so you can witness how Mr. VS and I met. Yes, it was online and yes we had a blind date (sorta) and yes I was afraid that Mr. VS was a murderer. Before we jump into…
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My Waste Toner Cartridge Needs Replacement
When I say my waste toner cartridge needs to be replaced, what I really mean is that there is waste that needs eliminating. And what I mean by that is that my body seems to need to eliminate waste all the freaking time and I’m over it. Let’s just get over the ew factor here…
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An Awkward Encounter: BFF Edition
Have you ever had a really awkward encounter with someone you’re quite close to? Have you ever seen someone “out of context” and it made your brain feel all funny and mushy and you couldn’t speak like an edu-macated homo-sapien? An occurrence like this happened to me just the other day with my friend Annie…
Angst Anarchy 