VS

Author Victoria Sawyer

Bring Me To Life

New novel coming soon!

  • Sexy Canning = Botulism

    Sexy Canning = Botulism

    Mr. VS and I were quite domesticated (like badly behaved pets) this fall and we tried some canning from the bounty of the land, i.e. our garden. BTW…we totally have a farm or something minus any animals except cats – cat farm? Our farm has no name currently but it could be called Poison Ivy…

  • Forget the Lifetime Failure Tally: Look Ahead

    Forget the Lifetime Failure Tally: Look Ahead

    I’ve now officially (you heard it here) been informed, through an article online that I cannot find again (did it really exist??) that I should be looking toward the future and not at the past. Mr. VS also recently told me that millionaires and highly successful people refuse to see failure and instead are always…

  • My Body is a Polluted Bombed Out Wasteland

    My Body is a Polluted Bombed Out Wasteland

    So as you might know, I’ve been on meds (Zoloft for anxiety/panic attacks) for about a year and a half.  Prior to this  med-circus I’m partaking in now, I had been off meds for 3.5 years.  And before that I was on them for about 8 years and prior to that I was medication free…

  • Broken, The Internet Is

    Broken, The Internet Is

    So there are some people out there that think they are going to break the internet with their ass. These ‘people’ shall remain nameless since I can’t stand to toot their horn more than it has already been tooted by everyone else on the planet. However, I do have a few things to say on…

  • A Case of “the Uglies” with Mincing and Ogling

    A Case of “the Uglies” with Mincing and Ogling

    Yesterday I had a mean case of the uglies.  It’s sort of like the “mondays” but it’s the uglies instead.  I don’t mean, I was ugly, as in I was horrible to be around or my mood was hideous or anything like that.  What I mean is that I felt…hideous, physically.  Yes,  yesterday I was…

  • Faux-Celebrity News: I Discovered the Silver Lining

    Faux-Celebrity News: I Discovered the Silver Lining

    Sometimes I peruse the old  Yahoo for some news. What I seem to get on the daily is stories about the Kardashians and then I begin to question what the hell is going on in this world?! Is it a slow news day? (Must be, the only other thing to write about is people dying…

  • LinkedIn: Attempting to Destroy My Life

    LinkedIn: Attempting to Destroy My Life

    I’m having a mini-meltdown rage-attack at LinkedIn. Social Media is attempting to destroy my life with their privacy violations. So, you may not have noticed, or maybe you did, but this site is a secret from my “real world.” I haven’t talked about it in a while but the reason this site is secret is…

  • Your Viewing Pleasure – Drunk History

    Your Viewing Pleasure – Drunk History

    For your viewing pleasure, a bit of Drunk History, as told by some drunk motherfuckas and acted out by Hollywood’s best.  Ummm..amazing!!

  • Avoidance Methods that Really Work – Guaranteed!

    I visited the old Writer’s Digest today to look at writing prompts because I’m stagnant like a mosquito-breeding mossy woodland pool.  I’m breeding mosquitoes that’s how motionless I am at the moment.  I might even be breeding ticks!!  GROSS.  As a nasty aside, I like call them body spiders, personally.  I’ll say to my husband,…

  • How “I” Knocked My Own Socks Off

    I’m so helpful lately! You guys should be PAYING me for all this free advice! No?! You think I should pay you for forcing your eyes to bleed and your head to reel like a drunken idiot? Fine. FINE!! Someone slap me, I’m getting a bit full of it… This post is supposed to be…

  • Angst (Review)

    Amazing review of Angst (seriously what a well written review!) by fellow author S.A. Williams.  Thank you! Angst (Review). via Angst (Review).

  • A Critique – Identity Crisis or Journey of Self-Discovery?

    “Sometimes I get so tired of being critiqued in everything I do.  Art and writing. It gets so hard to still actually want to create something.  But I guess that comes with the territory, your creativity will always be judged, labeled and critiqued.  It’s hard because creativity is close to my heart and getting criticized…

  • A Crazy Sexy Cool Snapshot of Me

    A Crazy Sexy Cool Snapshot of Me

    Let’s be honest with each other right now.  This is sort of a secret blog.  People in my “real” life don’t know about it.  I’m trying however to come out of the writing closet and I recently told one of my cousins about what I’m doing.  Sort of.  I was vague as all hell, but…

  • Heat Drips, Like Fire Across the Skin

    Heat Drips, Like Fire Across the Skin

    I plucked the words, fresh and clean To taste, with the tip of my tongue Fresh fruit, a strawberry A slice of citrus, orange strong Texture smooth, thick cream Sensual Lip to warm soft lip I kiss them into him Saccharine turns to ash Chalky, dry A parched desert Of powdered milk I taste, Charcoal…

  • This Season of USA is Lit!

    This Season of USA is Lit!

    These writers on this season of the USA are doing a bang up job keeping us on the edge of our seats! Let’s just hope they’re not like the writers for LOST! Buckle up for some existential rambling DREAD below! (Don’t worry, it’s…

  • The Happy Forgotten Place Where Plastic Lives: The Landfill

    The Happy Forgotten Place Where Plastic Lives: The Landfill

    Remember that place the so-called Landfill? I know you’re like…”What? No? What place? I don’t recall anything like that.” (All said while avoiding eye contact). Well, I’m here to point your attention in the direction of your local landfill, filled not with LAND…

  • This is Why We’re All Overweight

    This is Why We’re All Overweight

    I’ve done a little thinking on the topic and I’ve come up with several reason why we’re all overweight and continue to gain the old lbs. The equation looks something like this: unhappiness + depression + meaninglessness + boredom + our modern culture…

  • Your Viewing Pleasure – Guy on a Buffalo

    Your Viewing Pleasure – Guy on a Buffalo

    Your Viewing Pleasure is where I share my favorite YouTube vids.  This one is no exception. Apparently there’s this old movie about a guy riding on a buffalo and some genius decided to add a song track on top of the video.  What emerges is classic. One day…the guy on the buffalo was riding around…

  • Braggadocious! Introducing: The Blog Brag

    Braggadocious! Introducing: The Blog Brag

    Has it ever occurred to you how braggy songs can be?  In particular hip hop songs are pretty damn braggy.  It makes me laugh cause when you hear a braggy, pompous, I’m awesome, Eat my #@$% song you’re all pumped up and like…HELL YEA!!!  PREACH!! You da Man!  And you don’t mind the bragging at…

  • Annoyance Analytics

    Annoyance Analytics

    The other day I was annoying Mr. VS as I typically do on a DAILY/HOURLY/MINUTE (ly ?) basis and it occurred to me that I need some kind of statistics to tell me if my annoyance campaigns are actually working.  Like…am I properly annoying Mr. VS or are my tactics all wrong?  It’s like how when…

  • Teachers Getting Their Viral 15 Minutes

    Teachers Getting Their Viral 15 Minutes

    I don’t know about you but I am SO SICK to death of seeing those posts on Facebook, etc, from teachers who are trying to “teach” their class something about the power/dangers of social media.  It’s so freaking annoying!  Each one acts like they’re the first person to ever come up with the idea and…

  • Your Viewing Pleasure – Leslie Hall- Body Rolls

    Your Viewing Pleasure – Leslie Hall- Body Rolls

    Mr. VS makes fun of me for liking this, however even he had this song stuck in his head after I forced him to view it…. I’ve even been viewing this in the morning to start my day off right. For some reason I find this song to be motivating.  It reminds me of Napoleon…

  • A Slip and Fall on Snow and Ice

    A Slip and Fall on Snow and Ice

    Sometimes I can be really graceful, much like a figure skater floating and gliding over the ice in a blowy sea green monstrosity.  Can you imagine it now, as I ran to my car on a rainy night that was unfortunately hiding nasty tricksy invisible ice?  It was a glory to be seen!  The judges…

  • Sexy Canning = Botulism

    Sexy Canning = Botulism

    Mr. VS and I were quite domesticated (like badly behaved pets) this fall and we tried some canning from the bounty of the land, i.e. our garden. BTW…we totally have a farm or something minus any animals except cats – cat farm? Our farm has no name currently but it could be called Poison Ivy…

  • Forget the Lifetime Failure Tally: Look Ahead

    Forget the Lifetime Failure Tally: Look Ahead

    I’ve now officially (you heard it here) been informed, through an article online that I cannot find again (did it really exist??) that I should be looking toward the future and not at the past. Mr. VS also recently told me that millionaires and highly successful people refuse to see failure and instead are always…

  • My Body is a Polluted Bombed Out Wasteland

    My Body is a Polluted Bombed Out Wasteland

    So as you might know, I’ve been on meds (Zoloft for anxiety/panic attacks) for about a year and a half.  Prior to this  med-circus I’m partaking in now, I had been off meds for 3.5 years.  And before that I was on them for about 8 years and prior to that I was medication free…

“Sometimes the darkness makes the light seem brighter.”

Victoria Sawyer

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