VS
Author Victoria Sawyer


Bring Me To Life
New novel coming soon!
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Sexy Canning = Botulism
Mr. VS and I were quite domesticated (like badly behaved pets) this fall and we tried some canning from the bounty of the land, i.e. our garden. BTW…we totally have a farm or something minus any animals except cats – cat farm? Our farm has no name currently but it could be called Poison Ivy…
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Forget the Lifetime Failure Tally: Look Ahead
I’ve now officially (you heard it here) been informed, through an article online that I cannot find again (did it really exist??) that I should be looking toward the future and not at the past. Mr. VS also recently told me that millionaires and highly successful people refuse to see failure and instead are always…
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My Body is a Polluted Bombed Out Wasteland
So as you might know, I’ve been on meds (Zoloft for anxiety/panic attacks) for about a year and a half. Prior to this med-circus I’m partaking in now, I had been off meds for 3.5 years. And before that I was on them for about 8 years and prior to that I was medication free…
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Broken, The Internet Is
So there are some people out there that think they are going to break the internet with their ass. These ‘people’ shall remain nameless since I can’t stand to toot their horn more than it has already been tooted by everyone else on the planet. However, I do have a few things to say on…
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A Case of “the Uglies” with Mincing and Ogling
Yesterday I had a mean case of the uglies. It’s sort of like the “mondays” but it’s the uglies instead. I don’t mean, I was ugly, as in I was horrible to be around or my mood was hideous or anything like that. What I mean is that I felt…hideous, physically. Yes, yesterday I was…
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Debunking the Great Dress Code Debate
It’s all over the news these days, young girls trying to get schools to change their dress code because they feel that it’s sexist and impinges upon their rights as human beings. While I agree that some dress codes can be a bit draconian and I do believe that the sexes should be treated with…
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The Medication Merry-Go-Round
And thus, my dreams of procreation come crashing down!! No, seriously though, ummm…yeah I’m too anxious to do this whole “having a baby” deal, particularly with the added difficulty of infertility. So yeah…first off, there’s that, which in itself is pretty heartbreaking (I’m trying not to think about it) and then on top of that,…
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Your Viewing Pleasure – Epic Rap Battles of History
Don’t ask questions, just enjoy Darth Vader rapping in a battle to the death against Adolf Hitler. You won’t be disappointed. I personally think that Vader wins.
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I Made Words: Anarchy!!
Anarchy, Anarchy, Government Grammar is evil!!! I don’t know if you know, but I’m an English major with an actual BA (Bad Ass)degree in English. Does that mean that I am certified to speak English you ask? Don’t be an asshole! (I am certified for that, BTW, but it’s not the only thing we English…
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The Importance of Voice in Non-Fiction
This is a guest blog post from Nickolas Baron from Grammarly (a free proofreading tool for writers). It’s his take on the importance of voice and trust me, I agree! Voice is incredibly important, no matter what kind of writing you’re attempting. An interesting narrator will get you everywhere! Read on for tips on writing…
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What Kind of Strange Godforsaken Place is This?
So, if you’re new to this site, like an intrepid (love this word) space traveler who has stumbled upon a strange and clearly godforsaken (also love this word) alien world, you might begin to ask yourself, what the hell kind of place is this? What does it mean! By god, Captain Kirk, where are we???!!! …
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This Season of USA is Lit!
These writers on this season of the USA are doing a bang up job keeping us on the edge of our seats! Let’s just hope they’re not like the writers for LOST! Buckle up for some existential rambling DREAD below! (Don’t worry, it’s…
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The Happy Forgotten Place Where Plastic Lives: The Landfill
Remember that place the so-called Landfill? I know you’re like…”What? No? What place? I don’t recall anything like that.” (All said while avoiding eye contact). Well, I’m here to point your attention in the direction of your local landfill, filled not with LAND…
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This is Why We’re All Overweight
I’ve done a little thinking on the topic and I’ve come up with several reason why we’re all overweight and continue to gain the old lbs. The equation looks something like this: unhappiness + depression + meaninglessness + boredom + our modern culture…
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What Kind of Strange Godforsaken Place is This?
So, if you’re new to this site, like an intrepid (love this word) space traveler who has stumbled upon a strange and clearly godforsaken (also love this word) alien world, you might begin to ask yourself, what the hell kind of place is this? What does it mean! By god, Captain Kirk, where are we???!!! …
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26 Ways Cats Gleefully and Shamelessly Annoy Humans
As much as I love cats, I also realize that they are insane. Much like me. (I’m already turning into a crazy cat lady who wants to talk about her cat ALL the time. It’s like G (Bitey) is my child. Seriously.) So cats in general like to do things that are the complete opposite…
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The Many, Many, Many Things That Bring The Too Funny Chicks Angst
Are you ready for an angst-fest? Wanna get angst-tastic? My pals/gals over at Too Funny Chicks agreed to write a guest blog post for me and decided to share with my readers their “angst” and of course…you’re gonna laugh and you’re gonna nod your head because some of this stuff gives you heart palpitations and…
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Wife Competitions of Which We are Unaware
This title just gets me. It’s like backward. Anyway…don’t get it into your little sick heads that this is about wife swapping or anything so scandalous as all that. Although of course that’s the first place my sick little head went as I wrote this even though I know what I’m going to write about. …
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Decoy Duck
I have a new friend and he’s a decoy duck. He’s old and his black paint is wearing off. He’s sort of cool, if you’re into that kind of thing, although he doesn’t have a fancy paint job or racing stripes. He’s a pretty plain guy and my cat tries to body slam him on…



