VS
Author Victoria Sawyer
Bring Me To Life
New novel coming soon!
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Sexy Canning = Botulism
Mr. VS and I were quite domesticated (like badly behaved pets) this fall and we tried some canning from the bounty of the land, i.e. our garden. BTW…we totally have a farm or something minus any animals except cats – cat farm? Our farm has no name currently but it could be called Poison Ivy…
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Forget the Lifetime Failure Tally: Look Ahead
I’ve now officially (you heard it here) been informed, through an article online that I cannot find again (did it really exist??) that I should be looking toward the future and not at the past. Mr. VS also recently told me that millionaires and highly successful people refuse to see failure and instead are always…
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My Body is a Polluted Bombed Out Wasteland
So as you might know, I’ve been on meds (Zoloft for anxiety/panic attacks) for about a year and a half. Prior to this med-circus I’m partaking in now, I had been off meds for 3.5 years. And before that I was on them for about 8 years and prior to that I was medication free…
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Broken, The Internet Is
So there are some people out there that think they are going to break the internet with their ass. These ‘people’ shall remain nameless since I can’t stand to toot their horn more than it has already been tooted by everyone else on the planet. However, I do have a few things to say on…
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A Case of “the Uglies” with Mincing and Ogling
Yesterday I had a mean case of the uglies. It’s sort of like the “mondays” but it’s the uglies instead. I don’t mean, I was ugly, as in I was horrible to be around or my mood was hideous or anything like that. What I mean is that I felt…hideous, physically. Yes, yesterday I was…
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Thieves with Ladders
I’ve always had a more than healthy dose of “stranger danger.” So locking doors is a favorite past time, as well as worrying, fruitlessly, about the “bad guys” and how surely they’re coming for me. Call me Negative Nancy, I’ll answer in the affirmative, call me Worrying Wendy, I’ll say, hey wassup? Call me Paranoid…
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Kids Go To Sleep: Cats Go Outside
I’m just about to enrage parents everywhere and it’s going to be my most glorious accomplishment to date! It’s going be my pleasure as a childless 30-something to make claims and accusations! Here’s my thesis: when I try to put my cats outside at night, it’s just as hard as parents trying to get their kids to…
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Inbound Marketing: Schooling Newbie Facebook Sales People
If you’ve ever been anywhere in the remote vicinity of that twisted social wasteland Facebook, you’ll have noticed that your friends and family are all selling something with absolute abandon and no shame. Whenever I view my feed it’s filled with loud people all shouting: BUY MY XYZ PRODUCT! MESSAGE ME NOW!! IT’S AMAZING! IT’S…
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I’m Stressing You Out
Occasionally I check Goodreads to see what people think of Angst. I’ll tell you, it’s hard sometimes to see that someone rated your book as 2 stars when you feel like you’ve poured out your heart and soul, exposing your inner feelings and essentially how crazy you are, especially when you’re not sure why they…
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Swim Away into Oblivion
My never ending lament To escape this jail cell A heavy chain hangs about my neck Dragging me down to the depths of the dark sea Pressure against my lungs, collapse Sinking Sinking Struggle, panic, I want out To cut the chains I must breathe But I can’t! I can’t! Sucking in dirty water Choking,…
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What Every Writer Wants
Every writer wants to be heard. Wants their ideas, emotions, worlds to be ingested, inhaled by readers. We want readers to live in our world, the one we created, the one that is us, even if it isn’t. And words, words are my friends. They are how I communicate, they are how I express who…
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Until You See The Holes Cut Out Of Heaven
I awoke to the sounds of the alarm Blaring, screaming, Wake up, get up, get your lazy ass up Immediately, start the day, start it up Rev it high and then change gears Smoothly first to second, The engine bucks and you jerk Forward The hot water gasps and sputters Time to start the race…
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As You Slowly Light Your Never Ending Cigarette
I’ve got a few posts in my head right now and even a few drafts here on WordPress, but for some reason I can’t seem to decide what to write. Definitely content creation FAIL. I’m thinking about writing styles, about Pinterest, about my book, about self-criticism, about so many different things. Even about poems and…
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This Season of USA is Lit!
These writers on this season of the USA are doing a bang up job keeping us on the edge of our seats! Let’s just hope they’re not like the writers for LOST! Buckle up for some existential rambling DREAD below! (Don’t worry, it’s…
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The Happy Forgotten Place Where Plastic Lives: The Landfill
Remember that place the so-called Landfill? I know you’re like…”What? No? What place? I don’t recall anything like that.” (All said while avoiding eye contact). Well, I’m here to point your attention in the direction of your local landfill, filled not with LAND…
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This is Why We’re All Overweight
I’ve done a little thinking on the topic and I’ve come up with several reason why we’re all overweight and continue to gain the old lbs. The equation looks something like this: unhappiness + depression + meaninglessness + boredom + our modern culture…
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Stuck in a Style Year
As you age, you may at some point notice that you are stuck in a style year. It’ll creep up on you until suddenly you put the puzzle pieces together and realize with a moment of sheer embarrassed terror that you, who are of course, forever young, are officially stuck in a style year of…
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Insta-Replay for Bloggers, Writers and Artists
I was watching the news this morning and they were doing a recap of high school football and they kept showing instant replays of all the amazing catches and long runs that the high school students were doing at their foose-ball games. There were even hometown heros and VIP’s and whatnot. I thought to myself…it must be pretty snazzy…
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The Evil Glowing Machine
The last few days I’ve been getting a headache at work while staring at my computer. This is getting really annoying. I’ve found that staring at the computer makes my eyes hurt because it’s glowing with an evil florescent light. When I stop looking at the sparkly bright screen and start looking elsewhere at things…
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Satan’s Girlfriend: It’s Getting Fiery Up in Here
I don’t know how many of you weak little humanoid types have noticed that it’s getting a bit fiery up in Earth’s grill. It’s summer, so yeah, it makes sense as far as the ubiquitous summer words: hot and grill are concerned, however have you noticed that there are dire predictions of despair involving wild…
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Thieves with Ladders
I’ve always had a more than healthy dose of “stranger danger.” So locking doors is a favorite past time, as well as worrying, fruitlessly, about the “bad guys” and how surely they’re coming for me. Call me Negative Nancy, I’ll answer in the affirmative, call me Worrying Wendy, I’ll say, hey wassup? Call me Paranoid…
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Mental Gymnastics: Sarcasm Promotes Creativity
I just heard the most amazing bit of news to come my way in quite a long time. This is a GAME CHANGER PEOPLE! The news: Sarcasm promotes creativity and is good for the office. BOO YA! What this means is that I am #winning at being an office team mate and #winning at creativity. What…
Angst Anarchy 