My Panic Attack

Caged inside my own mind
With the devil, the monster
Longing for escape

Clawing at the door like an animal
Depression beneath my fingernails
Desperate
I didn’t ask for this

Heart pounds, it’s happening again
Flushed red hot, shaking
Hazy eyed, surreal

Fear, deadly fear, like murder
Poised with a knife
Frantic

Bloody mind, dazed, shocked
Harassed, tortured

Stomach turns, sick and twisted
Thoughts racing at velocity

I am horrified, embarrassed
Gasping, bent over
Trapped, I can’t breathe

I didn’t ask for this frenzy

Hands clenching, quivering
Dread, real and heavy

And from my mouth,
Lies, half-truths, excuses

Death to my soul
Ultimate annihilation

Caged with the monster
Depression under my fingernails
Flushed red hot, terrified
Longing for escape
Deadly fear

Repeat, echo
Again and again

Pulse in my ears
It’s happening.. again