Journal Entry – Awkward

What can I say to you?  Do you remember that day?  I remember every detail with stunning clarity and that’s why I can’t say even one word.  What would I say?  Hello Asshole?  It’s so strange that it even happened, that it was you and those things you said.   I see you all the time, get out of my life Asshole.

But you are still so intense.  Too much for me to comprehend, so deep.  I’ll bet if you knew me and I you, we’d be friends, or more.  But you say nothing and neither do I.  Just walk by with a sideways grin, a laugh  for your friends and eyes that are dead.  You don’t know me.  Not at all.  You’re a mystery to me.  You never even really look at me now, unless it’s in nervous surprise.  You suck.  But you’re still one of the most gorgeous things I’ve ever seen. I could look at you all day and still have absolutely nothing to say.  Hello Asshole, remember me?

It’s all so clear to me every time I see you.  You touching me, saying things, surprising things about how you want me, physically, your lips on mine, it’s all I can think of.  It’s all I can do to not beg you to do it again.  To kiss me, invite me in to your world. Do you think that when you see me?  I think of your shoulders, your face, your intense persuasive eyes.  How can I not, because it’s the only way I know you, Asshole.  It’s the only way you know me.